One of the most powerful things about Flower Essences is that they help us untangle and dismantle bindings that have been very difficult to resolve.
A letter accompanying an order for Flower Essences sits before me. The eighty years young woman who sent the letter finds herself in an abusive relationship with her older brother who controls the family trust. He doesn’t share her values which focus on being loving, kind and open to new ways of thinking about things. Her hopeful, expansive and sweet point of view drives her brother wild. In response, he has called her a lot of ugly names and cut her off from all but the bare minimum of support from the family trust. As with so many Green Hope Farm friends, I have known this woman a long time. Through the decades she has shared her deep and playful enthusiasm for Divinity sometimes calling the farm to sing a song and always sending us beautiful collages she has created.
This time she writes that her brother has made it impossible for her to proceed with treating her cancer with additional alternative support as well as conventional medical care. You all know how I feel about anyone interfering with our choices about how we take care of ourselves and our health. I am saddened we continue to have people think they should make health care decisions for anyone else but themselves. This Green Hope Farm friend stopped living in the same household in an abusive relationship with this bullying brother sixty years ago, yet he still plays a major role in her life and in her health care decisions.
When someone is in an abusive relationship, there are so many layers to peel away, and so much healing to be done. When the abuse is coming from a relative, the Family River trio is powerful for its capacity to help free us from the ingrained mindset of our family system that might bind us to the situation. The trio empowers us to understand the situation with much greater clarity and frees us to decamp, keeping only the divine wisdom of our family bloodline.
Golden Armor and All Contracts Null & Void are profound for their support to cut the bindings that keep us connected to abusers. The Angels created the Sovereignty Set to support us with this as well. Among many other gifts, this set helps us deconstruct the many ways the group think of patriarchy keeps us bound in unhealthy dynamics. Our bodies belong only to ourselves. No external structure or person should be able to make health care choices for us as this brother is doing with his sister.
Abandonment & Abuse from the Animal Wellness collection is always a go to Essence when someone is in an abusive relationship. It has been used by countless rescue animals and countless people too. There is so much collateral damage done by abuse, and this Essence supports the deep wound healing that must be done. Wound Healing is another go to in this situation. I love this Essence.
In the case of this Green Hope Farm friend, she also made a deep dive into the Additional Flower Essence list to choose some other supportive Flower Essence tools. As always when I look over a group of Essences one of you has chosen for yourself, I learned a lot from her choices.
It is empowering to witness that this Green Hope Farm friend does not settle into a victim stance as she deals with her brother. She makes Essence choices that empower her to whatever degree it is possible to move the situation along to a more humane dynamic. She chose Duchesse de Brabant Rose and then notes its description “I AM an energetic mover and shaker. Consider me to help bring your mind and circumstances into greater order. I AM an excellent remover of inner and outer clutter and offer my services to support you in these tasks.”
While so many have used Ducheese de Brabant Rose from the Bermuda section of the Additional Flower Essence list to help with cleaning our homes, this Green Hope friend calls on this Rose to help bring inner and outer order for other reasons. In her own words she notes that, “The Duchesse is about paring down and getting rid of excess as in “less is more” to reveal the core of simple beauty.” I found it inspiring that she takes this approach to the financial restraints imposed upon her by her brother. She is not going to take it lying down. She is getting legal help, but she is also working to make peace with what is.
In confronting the dynamic with her brother and family of origin, she chose Monkey Flower also from the Bermuda section of the Additional Flower Essence list, once more writing out its description in her letter, “For unraveling dense, dark knotted family issues including abuse, incest, betrayal and for healing wounds suffered from these situations or from any instance in which one person in a family misuses his or her power to control or hurt another. This can also help with relationship wounds.”
Another she chose to resolve this family of origin drama once and for all is Pandorea also from the Bermuda section of the Additional Flower Essence List. Once more she copied the description in her letter, “Helps us to unlock closely guarded issues and reveal old wounds and secrets so they can be healed. This can lift great emotional and spiritual burdens from us as Pandorea helps us to release as well as acknowledge old baggage and things we may have hidden in ourselves that we haven’t wanted to look at. It also releases the negative charge around these hidden matters so that we can “houseclean” ourselves with detachment and calm.” I love how once again she chooses a Flower Essence that empowers her to actively resolve whatever her part in the situation, no matter how small a part this might be.
This discussion is but the tip of the iceberg about which Flower Essences can serve you in breaking free of abusive relationships and healing the wounds that the abusive relationship may have caused you. Please trust your own guidance about which Flower Essences can help you and know we are here to support you in figuring our which Flower Essences to work with and in your journey to wholeness, healing and joy.