No more Cinderella!

When I was a kid, there was a beautiful merry go round by the ocean in Watch Hill, Rhode Island. As part of the ride, almost but not quite out of reach, there were rings to try and grab from your horse. Each time the merry go round did a full circuit you got another chance to seize a ring. In fact, there was a big box of rings with all of them brass except one golden ring that got you another ride for free. 

You had to make a big effort to grab a ring.  The rings didn’t drop it your lap as you rode by.  Instead, you had to lean way out, still holding onto the pole of your moving horse, all the while concentrating to get just the right angle to pull a ring from the ring box.  It’s probably considered too dangerous now, but it was fun, so fun. I don’t remember if I ever got a golden ring. The fun was in trying.

This is one of those times when we need to summon our natural joy, enthusiasm and sense of deserving and grab a ring.  Yes, we are sailing around this dizzying merry go round of life on Earth. It is a doozy of a ride, but just in reach is a golden ring. And not just one golden ring but one for each of us.

A dimension of beautiful and high vibration energy is ready for all of us now. Or as my code writing sons would say, the upgrade is ready for us to download.  It’s complete, pristine, vibrant and all of us can slip into its stream of light. We do not have to leave the planet to be in this higher vibration, we just have to decide we want this energy to be our earthly reality.  Each of us has to decide we’ll move on from the familiar heavy energies of the 3D earth grid to rise up and grasp the golden ring of the unknown, this higher 5D energy.

Perhaps this is why I keep writing so fervently about self care.  We all have our laundry lists of why we think we don’t deserve to go to the ball but must sit home in the cinders. Some of us might say, yeah but where is the fairy godmother to pull up in a pumpkin carriage with the perfect outfit and some promises about who is already at the ball. Those fairy godmothers are with us already in the guise of the Angels in our lives. By Divine appointment, the carriage is ready. However, we still have to find the courage within ourselves to step into the carriage.

As we consider our choice, we get glimmers of this new energy. At the farm we find it our wonderful Venus Garden that for so many decades has grounded 5D energies here. Even without the glimmers, other forces encourage us forward.  We have an ennui that presses us to look up and see beyond the tired old and irrelevant dramas that hedge us in.  The people and things we thought were so cutting edge seem staid and out of date. We feel uncomfortable in the smallness of it all, and when we look up, the very stars call us to expand our self-definition to something bigger.  

Yet reaching for the golden ring means reaching for something we don’t know very much about. Phrases like unity consciousness and spiritual freedom sound kind of esoteric even unappealing in comparison to the compelling nightmares we are immersed in. And really, could the world survive if we didn’t stay back in the thick of every last mess being “the responsible one?”

Sometimes even suggesting we grab the golden ring seems like heresy. But this is not a turning our back on humanity for a me moment, this is expanding our light in a way that serves all creation.

If someone was performing open heart surgery at night in a dark woods, it would help to have as many powerful flashlights pointing at the surgery as possible. So if you feel guilty about focusing on the upgrade versus the dark night dramas in your life, remember receiving this upgrade means you become a more powerful light in your world.

The Angels have been telling me that it’s an individual decision for each of us now. They have the 5D grid in place for all of us to access, but they have to respect our free will. No one can make us grab the ring, and no one can keep us from grabbing the ring. We just have to be willing to go for it. And from everything I hear from the Angels and from what I have experienced in the gardens here, I doubt anyone is going to opt to go back to that darker cinder filled place.

In a memoir I read, the protagonist is on a hike with her spiritual teacher. After many miles climbing a steep and dusty trail through baking heat, they pass a beautiful artifact lying on the side of the trail. The protagonist doesn’t think this relic could possibly be for her, and she walks right by it. A few miles down the trail, her teacher stops and says, “You know, that was for you.”

It’s like this with this energy.  We can always come up with some story about why we don’t deserve the gift of higher energies, more Divine Love and Light.  We can always count ourselves out because we need to stay back and clean the kitchen.  But maybe the best thing we could do for ourselves AND everyone else is grab the golden ring and see what happens.

So here is a Cinderella prayer I’ve been using: “Help me know I deserve this Love and Light.  Help me Welcome in the Love and Light completely into every cell of my being. Help me know that this is the highest good for all.”

The vibrational energy of Flower Essences help us access the wisdom of the Flowers. This helps us with this quest because Flowers KNOW they deserve the incoming Divine Light and Love. Here are some Flower Essences that jumped forward this morning as wanting to help you dust off the ashes and get in the carriage!

Celery The Essence calling LOUDEST to help you welcome in this energy. Spanish Shawl: No more kowtowing to artificially dictated ties and bonds. Common Knapweed You ARE enough and always have been- not another dish needs to be washed before you welcome this energy into your being. Wintergreen Reminds you of your freedom to shine when you’ve been given the role as a doormat in too many dramas- That means you Cinderella!!! Fremont Pincushion: Knowing your infinite worth, especially supportive for those of us whose core experience has been one of feeling of no value. Tree Peony ” You are the infinite universe, but you must discover it and find that out. I will help you…always.” Meher Baba

Being Vessels of the Divine Feminine

The incoming Divine light flooding the planet is intense. It is so BIG. Yet all around us things appear to be in uproar. What does it mean that there is so much light pouring in yet so much drama consuming our attention? How do we deal with this?

For those of us embodying feminine energy, it’s time for the self care of no longer being pulled into all the dramas. It’s time to resist anything that calls us to pick up all the energetic garbage others want us carry for them.

We have other work to do.

The Aquarian Age is upon us. Its symbol is a vessel holding life giving water. This symbol is a big clue as to the nature of our true work.

The incoming light is imbued with the energy of the Divine Feminine. We thirst for this energy, because we are the HOME of this beautiful light.  Our bodies are meant to EMBODY this energy.  We are the Aquarian vessels created to contain this radiant, joyful light. We are the Aquarian vessels meant to ground the Divine Feminine into the very fiber of our planet by grounding her light into every fiber of our being.

To say it once more (as I am so apt to do) HOLDING THIS LIGHT IN OUR BODIES IS WHAT WE ARE MEANT TO DO!

But right now, we are overburdened. Our bodies, our energy vessels, are too full with the energetic crap we carry for others to fully welcome in this light.

We are at the profound shift we have waited for so long.  Now more than ever, we must cleanse ourselves of ALL energetic garbage so this light- so abundantly present already- can fully fill our vessels.

Most of the energetic dirt in our vessels is NOT OURS. We have been conditioned to believe if there is a mess, it’s our mess. We’ve bought into the idea that regardless of the drama, we are the clean up crew 24/7. NOT TRUE.

In addition to these ideas of infinite responsibility, we’ve also been bogged down with culturally imposed guilt that leaves us meticulously sorting the garbage before dumping it, so we don’t mistakenly throw out something we “should” have kept. Let’s use that meticulousness to meticulously clean our energy system.

Don’t even bother to figure out whose crud it is. Just get rid of it. We want to give the Divine Feminine the clean vessel she (and all of us) deserve to inhabit- a radiant unburdened vessel born from our self-care. Send all the garbage out through a christed grid to be transmuted by the central Sun. This will mean the garbage is permanently removed and dissolved. NO GUILT NECESSARY.

As we dump the garbage we’ve been holding, it’s also vital to cut ourselves free from the insidious ego contracts we made to hold all this garbage.

 It’s not true that being a garbage can is lightworkers’ work. 

Lightworkers are meant to hold the light not hold the darkness dumped on them.   

Now is the time to leave everyone to their own garbage. Now is the time for everyone to deal with their own trash.  While few acknowledge this, everyone on this planet knows it’s time. We all go to spirit and hear truth at night. We all know what is going on here on Earth and what we must individually and collectively do about it.  Everyone knows they need to stop playing power games of obfuscation, misdirection, lies, blaming, conflict and dumping garbage on others. If people resist the truth, it is not our job to pick up their garbage so they can keep acting inappropriately. We can’t hold up the incoming light anymore by bogging ourselves down with everyone else’s garbage. It is not our job. 

In addition, when we pick up others’ energetic garbage we empower them to keep going in the same counter-productive ways. We have long fueled the very forces that have kept us trapped and downtrodden. BUT NO MORE.

We have been told “being loving” means protecting people from the truth of their actions by taking care of their garbage. This is not true.  We don’t have to protect anyone from the consequences of their choices by holding their garbage for them. It doesn’t serve them, and it doesn’t serve us.

Thousands of years of the illusion of duality and resulting power games have also warped and twisted us into believing the ridiculous idea that “being loving” means we deserve whatever gets dumped on us and must hold onto forever.

NO MORE!  For too long we have thought we are responsible for all the garbage.  No, we are responsible for being our light.

It is time to let go of any last remnants of shame, low self-esteem and other by products of being lightworkers under constant attack that led us to this feeling we deserve nothing but garbage.

WE DESERVE TO BE HOLY VESSELS HOLDING THE LIGHT. Any feelings that we don’t deserve this light need to go. 

In truth, WE ARE THIS LIGHT. In receiving this light, we welcome back OURSELVES. 

I had a vision this morning of Gaia throwing off the chains that have so long bound her.  How is this accomplished? If each of us embody our radiant Divine Feminine light, it will happen fast and beautifully.

We’ve dreamed the dream before and had it smashed to bits. It can feel like just too much to break these contracts and risk the walls caving in on us again. But this is a very different moment in the evolution of our planet and humankind. We are so close to a turning point -a breathe away- and if we rise up together, throw off the shackles of energies that are not ours and release these heavy punishing contracts of shoulds, we will help this planet light up as it never has before.

For many decades, I have born witness to tens of thousands of you cleaning your energy systems, working to break these ego contracts and seeking to cherish yourselves and the light even in the most dire circumstances.  Don’t falter now. We are so close.  Keep going and know that truly you are in an immense tribe of lightworkers working together to flood the world with light and love.  Here at the farm, we get to see this every day in our connections with you. Soon no lightworker will feel isolated, and all will be revealed in the light of a New Earth.


Those dramas are so compelling even though they are about as real as reality TV. Still, they suck us in, then we get thrown the mop to clean up the whole mess. Here’s support to see above and beyond the dramas (and avoid the mop): Equanimity, Vision, Eyes of Mary, Alpine Pennycress, Verbena Bonariensis, Love it and Leave it

Yeah, it feels like you’re going to burn at the stake again if you SAY NO TO THE MOP. Here are some Essences to help you know you are not participating in a re-run of WITCH ON FIRE: Spiddal, The Three Phacelia Sisters, Comfrey, Calliandra from Taiwan

You have been alone in your lightwork for a very long time. It has made you strong, but it’s been very difficult. It’s time to be in community. Here are some Essences that will bring comfort through this last stretch until you are fully in the circle of light workers you came to work with: Belorado, The Sunflower Spiral, Peach, Arbor Garden, Agnes Rose

Gaia wants you to feel safe here, but she knows it hasn’t been safe for you for a very long time. That is about to change. Gaia is ready to welcome you, heal with you and rise up together with you: Upwards and Onwards, Phoenix Rising, Indian Pipe Wound Healing

And just to trot out once again a few tireless allies in this dynamic: All Ego Contracts Null & Void, Golden Armor and Be Fearless ( still a gift with any order until the end of January)

The Great Escape

To say there is a lot of planetary action in Capricorn right now is the understatement of the new decade.

As a child, I was led to believe that being born in Capricorn was an indication I would grow up to be a charmless, humorless, driven and exceedingly materialistic jerk.

My own experience of this sun sign is that it has brought me much wisdom about right relationship with Earth as well as opened me into a deep and powerful connection with nature. I truly cannot imagine having co-created Green Hope Farm with my beloved Angelic and Elemental partners without my Capricornian connection to nature (or my Capricornian mountain goat constitution).

With Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto all in Capricorn right now and Saturn and Pluto almost to the exact point of conjunction with each other, we’re all getting a taste of Capricorn energy right now.  Yes, I know it can be a bit serious, a bit constricting, a bit dour but it is also a chance to dive deeper into a  loving partnership with Gaia and all beings of Nature. It is a time to live in greater harmony with all that is. And this planetary focus in Capricorn helps us with this vital work.

Another thing I consider EPIC about this January’s energetics is that they give us a chance to CLEARLY see our ego bindings to those who call themselves authorities AND THEN HELPS US BREAK THESE CHAINS.

There is something relentless about Saturn in Capricorn. It illuminates every last one of our bindings to government, academic, societal and religious structures, their ideologies and the people who would tell us these constructs are more powerful than us or our light.


We don’t have to see this press of energies as a marching order to continue to fall in step and do as we’ve been told.  Instead, by having all these connections highlighted, we get to cut them ALL loose with great clarity. Then we can let Pluto, the great transformer, sweep them all away into that mysterious place “out there” where Pluto resides.

I’m trying to approach this intense astrology by paying super close attention to everything that triggers me with a niggling should. These shoulds are the rattling of the chains that bind me to old authority contracts. The key to unlock them all is in me now.  It is in all of our hands.

As these mind ideas come to the surface, I can see them and let them go.  The energy of this month brings everything to the surface, but I have to choose to cut myself free. AND I CAN DO IT!

Also……. IT IS TIME.  Saturn is about timing and time and never more so than when Saturn is in Capricorn.  Hasn’t it felt like 2019 (or maybe one’s whole life) has been about waiting for the right time with every last thing working to hold things up? Well now, it is time to be unbound.

It is time to see who or what we gave our power to and end these contracts once and for all.  Each of us belongs only to our own self.

Some of these bindings are pretty blatant and some are a lot more subtle.  One of my triggers is feeling responsible for people and situations I am not responsible for.  This has been an issue my whole life.  I’ve wanted to turn the other cheek so badly that I had to be dragged into some pretty dramatic situations to realize this is NOT always the right way to proceed.   Yes, if you’ve read old blogs you know I am the person that had difficulty breaking off from a brother who tried to kill me and my children and breaking off from parents that funded and in every way supported this brother while he was trying to accomplish the deed. I did break away, but it took the threat of death to get me to give up my bindings to mistaken ideas about what I owed my family of origin.

This is an old story for me now and one I hope I have wrung dry of meaning and purpose.   Whatever freedom and learning I took from it is part of me now, but this Saturn conjunct Pluto energy comes in now to take me further along in the clear out every last binding out of every last corner of my being.


May the Angels’ January gift of Be Fearless help us ALL fearlessly welcome the project and do the work.

It is time for all of us to be meticulous about how we use our energies and what we bind ourselves to, because we need our own energy to birth our new selves for a New Earth.

At a certain point in the birth process, the mother-to-be has to stop taking care of anyone else in the room and give all her strength and focus to the birth itself.  Afterwards she can step back into a different role as caretaker of self and child, but in the birth, she must go deep into herself to find all her own strength and free it to do this work of birth.  This is where we are. We need all our energy to give birth to our new unbound self.

This configuration of planets means the timing is specific. Cutting ourselves free from bindings isn’t a casual task we can put off. It is the most vital task for us right now.

It’s like the jailor has left the building to go get donuts.  We’ve got the key in our hands. We can free ourselves right now! The passage out of the building is clear. It’s time to go! So get up and go!

As I was considering what needs to be cut free in my life, I realized that I would not have birthed Green Hope Farm had I stayed in the quagmire of my family of origin.  Mercifully, my children and I survived my family of origin’s insane drama so it is easier for me to be grateful that it cut me free from that dynamic.

Now something else arises to be born in me and all of us.  I must do the cutting so this birth can happen. I don’t need the absurd over the top dramas to tell me this is so. I know it.   We all know it, and we all know what we need to do. We need to trust what we know over what we are told by experts or really, by anyone else. We need to take back our power about everything. We need to be willing to have no one understand us and keep going in what we need to do even if no one understands us, and probably no one will.

A mother giving birth knows how she needs to move and what position she needs to take, yet women giving birth are still put in stirrups. No more stirrups for us be they ones foisted upon us or those we put ourselves into.

It may be that no one is going to give you props for going for a life free of bindings. You may even question your right to do this too.  You still need to go for it!

We’ve had so many thousands of years with these bindings.  To a certain degree, we are comfortable with this prison and sometimes want everyone else to stay there with us. BUT IT IS TIME.

As we unbind ourselves, may we support others to unbind themselves too.  Most of all, may each of us do what we need to do to leave our jails. Mighty forces have our backs in this right now.  They are shouting in our ears, “GO FOR IT!”

And after the great escape? What lies ahead?

Life may surprise us yet.  We may just find that the other side of this serious Capricornian work lies the expansive joy of Aquarius. Just ahead at the bend in the road lies a world still out of sight but one that will be more beautiful and magic than we can imagine.


All Ego Contracts Null & Void– Whatever the authority contract, its time to rip it up.

Soul Retrieval– Your soul belongs only to you.

Be Fearless– Our gift with any order through January. Please see the previous blog for more about this.

Alex Mackenzie Rose– The courage to do what we need to do.

Queen of the Night– A flashlight to help us see in the dark.

Centered Birth– Because we are giving birth to a new self AND a new planet.

The Sacred Feminine– This is the part of us that sees the chains and knows what to do to break them all.

The Sacred Masculine– This is the part of us that will help the Sacred Feminine to do the work.

The Way Forward– Life is a Camino. We may not know where the trail is going, but the yellow arrows will show us the next step.

Fisterra– Breaking these contracts means the end to so much that needs to go. Yet with these endings comes new beginnings.  Fisterra helps us feel the beginnings just out of sight waiting for us.

Of Moss, Mold and a New Balance of Energy

Thirty years ago, while learning energetic protection tools from a lovely group of Angels, it was suggested to me that I pull from my spine the sword of protection placed there within each of us by Archangel Michael. This sword can be used to cut us free from all inappropriate energetic bindings and attachments.

In my mind’s eye as I pulled this sword from my spine, I noticed it was covered in gorgeous green moss.  As I savored the beauty of the moss, a compassionate Angel voice quietly suggested that it wasn’t exactly a great thing that my sword of protection had been unused for so long that it was covered in moss. And so the penny dropped, and I took up my sword again.

This December, many decades later, it was not moss but mold that concerned us in Angel meetings. Only this time I wasn’t the only human talking to the Angels but was in community with the lovely humans here at the farm and in the greater Green Hope Farm community.

We had received a spate of email from many of you suffering from mold problems.  Those of us here in the office felt this mold issue was similar to various experiences we’d had of having our boundaries violated or playing energetic host to someone or something that did not deserve our energy. 

Because this concern with mold felt both mysterious but familiar, we decided to do a group meditation on the topic of mold. We hoped to find out what mold was trying to show us and to get information from our spiritual guides about their perspective on mold.  What followed was an incredible learning for all of us, bringing clarity about our light and how we care for it or fail to care for it.

And frankly, I would have shared what we learned a lot sooner if we had not been battling our own version of mold on the website with hackers constantly shutting down this blog.  Thanks to webmaster/mold blaster Ben Sheehan, today the blog is back up with stronger boundaries than ever.

So to share what we learned….

As 2020 begins, we face a planetary epidemic of inappropriate use of other people’s energy by individuals and organizations calling themselves the rightful owners of these energies. In 2020 we see this power dynamic more clearly than ever. Yet all is not lost. Not only are there mighty forces with us to help these inappropriate contracts dissolve and die, but with greater clarity comes a new resolve within us to end our role in the dynamic.

Just as the collective is under pressure to change, we too are called upon to fearlessly dismantle any patterns in our personal lives that allow our light to be taken from us inappropriately. Moss and Mold guide us in this.

Why would we have a mold build up in our system? Why would we have let something that does not have our best interests at heart proliferate within us at our own expense? Why was it almost entirely women writing to us about mold problems?

Womankind has a history of needing to appease physically or socially more powerful people in order to survive. A recent close encounter with an Opposum reminded me that sometimes we’ve even had to play dead in order to survive.  Since the rise of patriarchy, we’ve often had our energies taken from us by those who say, “Your energy is of no value but we want it anyways.”

And we have often devalued our energy in response to this dynamic, buying into the big con.  Because no one would work so hard subjugating others if the energy they were taking was not intrinsically of great value.

This has been a big con- that our energy is valueless- and we need to throw out that lie right now.

Our light energy is the most precious commodity of them all.

It is time to respect our light more fully and give it the vessel of protection our sacred light deserves. It is time to take seriously our role as holy temples of energy. 

Energy does not flood through some more than others by accident.  Light energy is something we have earned through lifetimes of effort. As lightworkers, we have earned ever ounce of our light, yet even when someone didn’t beat our light out of us, we often bought into the big con that we owed our light to whomever wanted it in the name harmony or to be “a good person” or to trade it for something we’d been told we needed in order to be whole.

We were always whole.

So yes, we have a history of lifetimes of being killed for holding onto our light for our own heart driven purposes. We have had to manage our own safety in situations in which more powerful forces have demanded our light from us.

In this life as well, if we have remained steadfast in holding onto our light energy to use in divine order, we have often been mercilessly attacked by every unconscious force out there, because unconscious people can easily be used and manipulated to take light that is not theirs to take.

It has been my experience that the degree to which a lightworker has been attacked is often the degree to which this lightworker has held their light and used it in service to greater light.  The more we have stood in our light, the more attacks we have dealt with. Often this has been a rough gig.

Sometimes it has been too much. Our walls have been breached one too many times, and we have let the mold spores in and laid down our sword of protection. Sometimes it is more insidious than this. Habits of not valuing ourselves creep in when we aren’t paying attention, and we let others set the rules of engagement so we are drained of our light.

But we can let these old dynamics go.

We can return to our true selves ready to fully embody ourselves as the sacred vessels of light inviolate that we are.  As we own our role in what happened, we find our freedom to rise up again and go forward on a planet ready to have our back in a more direct way than ever before.

If we can look at the compromises we made not through the patriarchal lens of duality but the 2020 lens that it was all for learning, then we can unburden ourselves of regrets about the past and lay it all to rest once and for all. 

We can support the holy temple of our bodies to be the chalice of sacred light energy.  We can protect these vessels as they deserve to be protected, so the light can blossom within us and we can use all we have learned in our history as lightworkers to use our light in accordance with our heart’s divinity.

For those of us here at the farm, we find strength to keep going in this delicate unraveling, rebuilding and re-consecration of our energies by building a supportive community with each other and with all of you.   

What a difference this community makes!

If mold is reflective of energy imbalances, then the healing began as we sat together to meditate and discuss our own individual processes and the collective’s through the lens of mold. We want you to know we have your backs as you seek the energy balance appropriate for your true self. 

As do the Flower Essences!

Early on we decided we wanted to choose a Flower Essence to share that would support everyone to find a new energy balance.

In one of our group discussions, Jen suggested that Be Fearless would be an excellent choice. There were shivers down our spine and joy in our hearts as we chose Be Fearless and decided to send it as our 2020 New Year’s gift.  We then meditated on the words of encouragement we wanted to send you with this gift.

We have been sending Be Fearless out as our gift since early December. We will continue to send it out with any order throughout January. In case you do not plan to order this month, here are our words of encouragement for you to be your most fearless and radiant self:

As we head into the adventure of 2020,

All of us at Green Hope Farm wanted to give you beloveds a gift.

After much contemplation, we decided to send you the gift of our Flower Essence mix Be Fearless.

We send it with hope that you know how much you are loved and in hope that this Flower Essence supports you to


Stand in your truth

Make “mistakes”

Enjoy being you

Throw out any ideas that bring you pain, especially those patriarchal ones

Be fiery and feisty

Shed any self-definition that needs to go

Throw some elbows

Do things differently

Find community that loves the fantastic person that is you

Create the boundaries you need

Let your light shine


Begin again

See your courage, tenacity and wisdom

Take as much time as you need to find the next step on your path

Give birth to what needs to be born in your life

Believe in yourself

Change your mind

Know your heart’s deepest hopes and dreams


Take charge when you need to

Lay down your burdens

Bring your shadow into the light

Stop apologizing for being you

Love your body

Move into the unknown

Let things go especially self-judgments

Trust yourself

Say what you need to say

Know you are love in a sea of love

Dance to your own music

Embrace your destiny

Be independent when you need to and seek people when you need community

Say NO


Be happy

Love and New Year’s Blessings from all of us at Green Hope Farm!