Two days before Thanksgiving I began this blog with:

The Solandra bloomed this morning. I felt like it was a kiss sent out to all the overworked folks out there getting ready to pause in already very busy lives to put on a complicated Thanksgiving feast.

Solandra Flower Essence is all about reminding us we are lovable and loved because we exist not because of what we do. Solandra reminds us we exist as love in an ocean of love and have nothing to prove.

Now, a week later, I wonder if I took this photo of Solandra but didn’t actually take her Flower Essence…..

As I get back to this blog a long seven days later, I have a bit of a snarky attitude some thoughts. Perhaps I am need a radical attitude adjustment need the staff of Downton Abbey need a time out in Fiji need to go and visit with the Solandra blossoms out in the greenhouse again drink a quart of Solandra Flower Essence water every day until the next holiday, go on strike and pitch a tent at Solandra’s side refusing to come out of the greenhouse unless someone else cooks, so I have inner strength to tell next year’s gathered hoards guests expecting five thousand different side dishes as well as their own bespoke pie that…….

Solandra said to BACK OFF! chill out.

As I reminisce about last week’s over the top holiday feast dinner, I know a few things and feel a lot more, A pie or two would have been enough. Did we really need a pumpkin pie, 3 (THREE) pecan pies, a cherry pie, a chocolate cream pie, a banana cream pie and an apple pie? I think not. We were 22 gathered, not 220. Seven were children. Some ate nothing more than a squeeze pouch of applesauce. Some of us should have only eaten a squeeze pouch of applesauce.

Solandra! Help me learn how to give a hairy eyeball in the face of all special requests. This was a look that my mother mastered so well that I still shudder to think of it. Help me master her hairy eyeball so no one will ever again insist that every Thanksgiving needs a banana cream pie. If I master this look, everyone will be happy with one crappy store bought pumpkin pie as my siblings and I were during our childhood Thanksgivings because they will be afraid to say otherwise.

For goodness sake, my mother served peas, rice, crescent rolls from a tube and turkey at our Thanksgivings (complete menu), and we ENJOYED it. Yes, I was thrilled when I discovered Jim’s family’s Thanksgiving meal included mashed potatoes, stuffing, yams and GRAVY, but would I have complained to my mother about our modest table? No! I was too afraid of her hairy eyeball. My siblings and I could feel it across any crowded room. It was a laser beam that terrified.

After this Thanksgiving, I wish her hairy eyeball was in my bag of tricks, How relaxing it would be if everyone ACTED as if they were enjoying a spread of turkey, peas and one solitary pie. This would leave me rested giddy able to leave the kitchen and go read a book serene and grandmotherly in some 1950’s type way.

Oh Solandra, help me know I am a human being not a human doing and if you can, teach me all my mother knew about a well used hairy eyeball.

A bear walked across my soul last night

It’s like that on earth, you know.

We appear unconnected, but we’re not.

Unity

is.

So while we dream this dream of separation, let’s pretend we know

we’re one.

Just until we awake (and know this)

Let’s love each other as we love our fingers and toes.

Let’s imagine the dirt we walk on is our own skin.

That irritating person across the table (ocean) from us? The best gift we’ve ever given ourselves.

The bear cub in the forest? The sweet voice of our eternal self, lifting the curtain for a moment to remind us

joy and wonder is our destination.

That’s how we’ll wake up-

living as if we know the truth until we do.

Grace will do the rest.

November in northern New England has its own particular beauty. The clouds are saturated with a rich palette of color. In this shot you can see that the main perennial beds have been cleared for the winter. In the foreground the Thyme which encircles the house is still going strong.

After abundant blossoms this summer, the Japanese Anemones make extraordinary seed pods in the fall. They dance in the wind just as the Flowers did.

Every mild day means another opportunity to get mulch down on another garden. This was me ( and of course Sheba) cleaning up the Zinnias, Cosmos and other annuals and putting down mulch.

I use hay to mulch each garden. This builds up the soil and helps keep down weeds. The mulch also keeps in moisture ( maybe not so necessary this rainy summer but usually so important on this windy site). Mulch also eliminates the need to rototil the gardens which means soil structure isn’t disrupted as it is with rototilling. All in all, mulch is key to just about everything that happens here!

I love any encounter with a toad. I found this one while moving hay. I hope he finds a place to burrow in soon. He looked pretty cold to me.

Most of the leaves are down except for oak leaves and this golden glowing larch. None the less there are bold colors in the hills and fields.

In all seasons we spend a lot of time down on this flat rock (oddly tilted in my photo but actually very flat). It is a great lookout spot for little and big people and of course Sheba (and where was she when I was taking this photo? She was digging a big messy hole in the Arbor Garden for some unknown terrier mutt reason).

Sending you all much love and wishes for peace in your world.

PS New colors the next day. Winter no longer coming. Winter is here.

We stopped often in Lisbon, Maine on trips back and forth from Lewiston, Maine where two of our children went to school and the lovely old house a friend lent us in Damariscotta, Maine, our headquarters when we visited our kids in Maine.

An old friend had inherited “Old Yellow,” a wonderfully quirky sea captain’s house right on the Damariscotta River. Jim and our son (GHF webmaster) Ben spent part of one summer re-roofing “Old Yellow.” Their hard work earned us many happy stays in this house, savoring our children’s time in Maine.

On any visit, there was always a lot of back and forth between Lewiston and Damariscotta, but we liked the route. It helped us feel more connected to the geography of our kids’ world. Lisbon was usually our first stop leaving Lewiston.

Lisbon is the birthplace of Moxie, that Maine soft drink with the wonderful name and zippy, unique flavor. This meant we would stop in Lisbon not just for gas but to get some Moxie for the ride back to Damariscotta. I generally don’t drink soft drinks, so the Moxie was a treat. As I sipped my Moxie I would consider that marvelous quality, Moxie, and all its characteristics.

The dictionary describes Moxie as “courageous spirit and determination; perseverance.” Sometimes the definition for a word feels pitch perfect but not this time. To describe Moxie that way is like describing the great wall of China as a big stone wall.

Someone with Moxie acts courageously with sparkle, pizazz even swagger. They walk into a lion’s den whistling a cheery tune. They don’t ignore what is, but they don’t let it define them either. A silly example of Moxie came from my grandfather. He and his best friend were on a fishing expedition in which they were portaging a heavy canoe over many miles. They got hot so they took off their clothes and tucked them in the bow of the canoe. On encountering other hikers, they sailed on past the startled hikers as if naked was how everyone carried a big canoe. I liked that story. It’s a good image for Moxie.

One of the new Flower Essences this fall, Japanese Anemone encourages a causeless cheerfulness, and this is part of Moxie too. It’s not exactly gallows humor but maybe gallows adjacent. Moxie doesn’t have to involve a grand gesture. Small gestures bring miracles too, especially sassy Moxie filled ones that defy the norms.

I know a retired teacher who drank Moxie almost every day of his life. He spent 45 years teaching seventh and eighth graders, and when he retired he still had his sense of humor and love for his students. Was it all the Moxie he drank or was it his inner Moxie? Who knows, but to me he showed Moxie. When asking Jim ( another retired teacher with 38 years under his belt) who he thought had Moxie, he said Tom Brady. Fair enough. Sports does seem to be an arena where people show Moxie.

Now Lewiston is linked with a terrible tragedy and Lisbon linked to the final moments of a deeply troubled man. I wish for Maine and all of us dealing with tragedies and the challenges of these times a big dose of Moxie.

Why Moxie? As I think about Lewiston and Lisbon, the suffering of this community feels very real to me. The years our family visited Maine included many of the years when we were living with death threats from my mentally unstable brother. During those years, each moment of safety and normalcy felt precious to us. We lived with this black cloud that just wouldn’t go away, and it changed us.

My extended family didn’t weather the storm very well. The long years of threats and our differing approaches to these threats led to the complete break up of my family of origin. Even after my brother’s death from a drug overdose, the larger family remained divided. As a community, we collectively hadn’t been able to stay present to each other in our suffering. In the end I was disinherited and my immediate family of Jim, me and out children were permanently cut out of the fabric of our larger family.

Why was this? I don’t know. During the death threat years I learned that American culture generally doesn’t like a story of suffering that keeps on going. Did our situation get tiresome to relatives? I don’t know. Our culture also has a sneaky way of suggesting that those who suffer are responsible for their pain. We felt that attitude towards us. The culture also encourages people to believe we can push right past a tragedy and get back to good times as swiftly as the next news cycle. None of these ideas feel true to me or helpful. Sometimes suffering goes on and on regardless of our efforts to shift the situation. And when people play the blame game, it is deeply destructive. After my brother’s death, our fear ended but our suffering continued as we remained divided from those we loved. The recovery was complex. It’s been over twenty years, and I am in recovery still.

In thinking of what helped and who helped, I realized it was people with Moxie. Realizing this, I wish for the gift of Moxie for the Lewiston community. May it help them to contain each other in their suffering and grief. I remember the people willing to enter into our dark time and contain our family in our years of fear. I’m grateful they had the Moxie to come by our house and listen to us. They didn’t try to fix us or insist that it was no big deal to fear your brother would kill you and your kids. They sat in silence listening and then they said things like, “This must be incredibly sad and painful. I am so sorry you’re living with this.” This was tremendously meaningful to us.

The people with the Moxie to reach out and listen are deeply precious. Pain and suffering often brings some degree of withdrawal from the world. Suffering people need their energy for handling the pain and can’t always reach out the same way they did. As we found ourselves submerged in this fearful mess, I was grateful for the souls with Moxie that walked into the lion’s den of our family’s pain and invited us back into human community.

Our neighbors, Malcolm and Teddy, stayed with us in our pain. I recall a night when I flipped my lid over the need for police protection and constant vigilance. As I wailed on about my four year needing to know how to dial 911, Malcolm sat quietly at my side and contained me, unafraid of my emotions. Then there were Green Hope Farm friends who held me via email and staff goddess Lynn Tidman who listened to my struggles each and every week, willing to go over the same terrain again and again with me. I’m also deeply grateful to a family in town named Hardy. They had the Moxie to invite us to their family holiday dinners. They knew my family had cut us off, so they stepped in, making us feel as welcome as their Great Aunt Sis and her famous Lemon Cake. Theirs was an enormous crowd but another table was added to a string of tables to welcome us to their festive Thanksgiving feast. This was Moxie, and I am grateful for it.

Now, I hope for the greater Lewiston community, a whole heck of a lot of people with Moxie.

I asked the Angels and Elementals what Flower Essences they would suggest for bringing forward our Moxie. I believe we all have inner Moxie, and Flower Essences can help us let it flow. Below is their list of Flower Essence suggestions for encouraging Moxie. As I went to write down their suggestions, the Flowers got VERY CHATTY (I would even go so far as to say they showed their MOXIE). I left their sassy remarks as the description of each Flower Essence. Links to longer definitions are there too.

Don’t Worry- Bee Happy– “My name says it all. Stop listening to people who tell you it is not okay to be happy. Your happiness is an immense gift and lifts the heavy hearted.”

Radish– “I am sassy in a big way. I ignite that in you. Unapologetically.”

Yellow Mullein– “Yeah, you CAN do it. It’s not even a question. For goodness sake, get on your dancing shoes and get dancing.”

Borage– “No throwing in the towel with me at your side. I’ll keep you keeping on with confidence and and humor. I’ll spark bold gestures of love for yourself and everyone else. I’ll comfort you in dark times. I’ll help you find your sparkle again when things are tough.”

Blueberry– “I help you live true to yourself even if it means taking the road less travelled ( and yeah, it usually does mean that).”

Alex Mackenzie Rose– “Speaking of all things Scottish (and why are we doing that? Well, just look at my name), I help you embody your bravest self. Spritz with me, add a kilt and you are good to go.”

Rosa Mundi– “Yes, I know you are feeling bone tired of tragedies. I am with you in your pain. I’ll help you get back on the horse and keep going anyways. Believe it our not, this story turns out well.”

Pink Grootendorst Rose– “I am a life raft of love, the only real thing. Hop aboard.”

Trabadelo– “I am going to help you let go of personality patterns even when you don’t know what your lives will look like without them. I’ve got you! Let’s do it! It’s going to be okay.”

Harebell from Dog’s Bay– “The wind may blow 24/7, but I am going to ring my blue bell of determined joy anyways and help you do that too.”

Zinnia– “Okay, maybe like me you sometimes think, “The weather is horrid, I’ve been planted in a half inch of concrete and where’s the sunlight I was promised?” Like me, I know you can be your joy anyways and I remind you how.”

Pink Yarrow from the Cliffs of Moher– “What is more courageous and sassy than growing on a sheer 700 foot cliff buffeted by gale force winds in a spot that may crumble and fall into the sea at any moment? Yeah, I know your situation can feel like that too, so join me in persisting with MOXIE in spite of it all.”

Allamanda from Taiwan– “Give your personality’s Bummer man, he delivers monologues a rest and dive deep into your inner spirit. It sings another song.”

Golden Wings Rose– “I help airlift you out of the illusion of duality. This is the biggie that binds you to stuff that’s not real. Find freedom. Give up the idea that duality can be real in a matrix of oneness.”

Morning Glory– “This isn’t about managing things by not taking stuff seriously. You can honor grief and also welcome joy at the same time.”

Love It and Leave It– “I bring the happiness that comes when you let go of outcomes and rest in the unshakeable knowledge that all things of this world are momentary and passing. And why is this comforting? Because you are not of this world. You are spirit having a physical experience not a physical being having a spiritual experience.”

Segesta “I help you find your genuine self amidst cultural pressures (of which there are many) encouraging you to have no faith.”

Japanese Anemone– “Isn’t causeless cheerfulness the ultimate in Moxie?”

PS I am thinking of making this into a combination Flower Essence ( which of course I would call MOXIE). What you think of this idea? Let us know! Sending you all much love!

Many years ago we created a Flower Essence combination remedy for houseplants. Staff Goddess Deb Cardew from Cornwall, England ( where they love their gin & tonics), coined the name Green & Tonic, and we went with it.

Each spring, I use Green & Tonic on seedlings. I spritz the seeds before planting then when the seeds germinate, I spritz the baby plants with Green & Tonic again. When I transplant seedlings into the garden I will make up a mix of organic fertilizer and Green & Tonic ( see the green bucket in the above photo) and water in the transplants. In the case of planting the Dhuni Garden above, I dipped each plant into the green bucket of fertilizer/Green & Tonic water before planting then watered them again when they were in the ground. I have found that it is so important to water in transplants even in a summer when it never stops raining (like this past summer).

Inside in our small greenhouse I grow tropical and semi tropical plants including Lime, Lemon, Orange, Grapefruit, Loquat, Calliandra, Shrimp Plant, Sweet Olive, Pomegranate, Dittany, Dombeya Wallichii, Red Hibiscus, Sago Palm, Coffee, Solandra, Rosemary, Kangaroo Paw, Bottlebrush, Pink Tecoma, Aloe Ciliaris, Bignonia and Allamanda so we will have a supply of these blossoms if unable to gather them in a tropical or semitropical location. I put Green & Tonic in the water in my watering can when I fertilize all these plants. I also put Green & Tonic in a spritzer bottle to spritz the foliage of the plants. I lean on this remedy to help the houseplants live in conditions that are not natural to them. They love this remedy, and I can almost hear them sigh when I get the spritzer bottle out!

As soon as the danger of frost is past, I move the houseplants outside for the growing season. I keep the houseplants in their pots but bury them in loose compost to keep them cool and moist. Some plants stay under the oak tree outside the office windows where they get the shade they need. Most stay on the south side of the house in big frames filled with fluffy compost.

The plants usually love their five months outside. While I prune them when they go outside, they usually spring to life with new growth and look their best in a matter of weeks. Usually is the key word here as this summer with all the deluges, the soil in the pots got drained of nutrients. I vastly increases my fertilizing, yet the storms of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 inches of rain were tough on the houseplants. Tough on the gardens too, but especially tough on the houseplants. There was also very little sun what with the smoke from wildfires and the many rainy days. So when I moved the houseplants into the greenhouse recently, I was sad to see that their summer vacation had not left the plants with their usual glow. They looked spindly and unhappy. I cut most everything back rather hard, channeling Jayn Bier, an early staff Goddess who also worked in the greenhouses at Dartmouth and advocated radical pruning. Then I situated everyone inside and got going with the Green & Tonic spritzing and more fertilizer than I usually use going into the winter season.

The houseplants are beginning to bounce back. Not too much in bloom yet but this Mexican Sage, Sweet Olive and Pomegranate, but everyone’s color is beginning to improve. Once again I am so grateful for Green & Tonic. I hope you will try it and share with us your experiences!