If I had to pare down the spiritual path to the simplest notion I would say, “Be loving.” Why? Because there is Divinity worth loving in everything and everyone.
Simple to say “Be loving” not so simple to do. People and groundhogs piss us off. We encounter the flotsam and jetsam of other people’s personality crap, and it’s tough to find our way to love. It’s also tough to figure out when other people’s personality crap makes it appropriate to back off and love from afar. We would not embrace a porcupine without being careful, and sometimes people require the same careful approach.
A person who betrayed me in a big way a number of years ago recently seemed to make a slight overture to redress the wrong. I found myself softening and opening my heart once again. Then it turned out the gesture was not genuine, and the person had no intention of following through with making things right. What is it they say? “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.” That’s a bit harsh, but I felt that I was getting a lesson to be more cautious with my heart. I felt I was being shown that sometimes we have to see and accept the nature of people’s personalities and be careful.
How is this about love? How do I choose love in this circumstance? Well first of all there is need for me to bring forward love for my own tender heart. Maybe it just doesn’t need another stomping from this person. That’s on me to show enough discernment to expect people to be who they are. That’s on me to proceed cautiously or not at all.
Maybe it is an odd kind of love, but accepting where the person is and leaving the person to learn their lessons in their own way is love.
Giving a person the space to learn their own life lessons the way they need to learn them is honoring the person’s own process.
We may wish the pace of their learning was different or that they had wisdom that made our lives better, but sometimes we have to let go to where they are in their spiritual journey and let them learn things in their own way.
What Flower Essences support us in this work?
All Ego Contracts Null & Void clears out our confusions about what we owe others and what they owe us. If we have relationships where we are expected to be there regardless of what the person is doing to us, this Essence helps us release this often unconscious mindset of obligation.
Carry Less helps us remove our filters that have us see things a certain way when maybe it is not that way at all. These filters build up over time so that we don’t always see a situation or person accurately and fall into habitual patterns that do not serve us.
These two Essences help free us from underlying assumptions, unconscious biases, societal and familial expectations. There is freedom in unwinding these from our electrical systems. We are free to take better care of ourselves and free to love others appropriately.
The religious template of my own childhood has been one of the things I have had to modify to find a better balance of love and self care. Raised in a family of selfish people all telling me that good people are always selfless, I came to think it was my duty to fall on the sword for them over and over and over again, taking care of them in their irresponsibility and recklessness. This became the habitual way I handled others outside my family who were similarly self involved.
Flower Essences and my guidance (which always have been more appropriate than my childhood training) have both helped me in this very big project to find balance and a wiser path of love. I have needed to learn to serve the divinity within each person not their personality demands. Sometimes this means love up close and sometimes love from afar. Both of these Flower Essences combined with events in daily life lead me to a different more flexible way to love than the self destructive submission to personality egos that I was raised to pursue.