I woke up this morning remembering what the Angels said to me about money when I was disinherited by my mother.  But before I get to this, I want to go back to something the Angels told me years before I was disinherited.

Sometime in my early thirties, seemingly out of the blue, the Angels told me, that I would inherit nothing from my family of origin. Some messages can feel sort of vague as if I could have imagined them.  This message was not like that.  It was clear, carrying weight and force. It felt like Truth with a capital T. 

When the Angels told me this, I was still deeply involved with my family of origin. I could not fathom how this could happen, yet there it was.  This unequivocal message.  To try and wrap my head around this message, I came up with all kinds of implausible scenarios.  I finally settled on the notion that maybe my parents’ home would be destroyed in a flood.  Their home was neither near a river nor the ocean.

The Angels don’t tell me much about the future.  Sometimes they share generalities as in the case of their constant reassurance that humanity will make it through this time. However they rarely offer up such a specific piece of information as this one. I have often wondered why they shared this. Like so much in life, their reasons remain a mystery, but at least one reason may be that it softened the blow when I was disinherited.

What followed this unexpected message were many years in which my husband, my kids and I experienced death threats from my tragically troubled younger brother and my family of origin reacted by distancing themselves completely from us and this “unsavory” situation.  Many times during these years, I recalled what the Angels said and somehow it eased my sorrow if not always my worry. 

My brother remained a threat until he died of a drug overdose.  By then the rest of my family of origin was gone completely from our lives.  There seemed to be a fated quality to all that unfolded.  My husband made many efforts to change the trajectory, and all of them failed. The situation devolved and never recovered.  And so there came the actual moment when my father then my mother died and I learned in the deafening silence afterwards that my mother had legally cut me out.

The biggest blow in this was the loss of the place in the Adirondacks we loved so much.  For my husband, Jim, this was a bitter pill to swallow as he spent two summers building a four bedroom cabin on the property for the extended family and all those summers that lay ahead. How we loved this place and how we miss it still.

There was also money involved. Wasps are generally very secretive about money, so I am not sure how much money I would have inherited, but I guess several million.  We’ve done fine without this money. My mother always kept the money tight so from the beginning of our life together, Jim and I depended on our own efforts to pay our bills.  Sometimes, especially during the college tuition years, that money would have helped, but we got through those years without it.

Being disinherited is a physical blow.  It’s casually talked about on screen and in books, but there is nothing casual in what it feels like.  It’s someone’s last word, someone’s final judgment about you and in this case the someone was my mother.  Over time, I could hear the Angels’ words of comfort above the din of my own reaction.  This was when the Angels talked to me about money, specifically that I had been spared by being disinherited.

 The Angels explained that money has karma depending on how it was earned and how it has been used.  They noted that inherited money is often more of a burden than a blessing.  The unfortunate ways money has been earned and used piles up in inherited money.  The more generations the money has passed through, the bigger the karmic pile up.  To bring this home to me, they had me look into the origins of the money I would have inherited.  They wanted me to understand that receiving any of this money would have been a very heavy energetic burden.

Avatar Meher Baba explained money in similar terms.  He noted that if we could really see money’s energy we would see that collecting  money was like collecting excrement. To receive someone’s money in a big way is to take on the giver’s bindings, sanskaras, their baggage and their personal spiritual excrement.

With these ideas swirling in my head, I looked into this money I did not receive. The money came down through my maternal grandmother’s lineage.  She was my favorite person in the world with a sparkling sense of humor, but I do not think she was a happy woman.  The Angels told me that none of the people who have inherited this money have been happy.  The money is a millstone of significant proportions. 

The money came from my grandmother’s grandfather. His name was Charles Jackson Smith. He was a bigwig in the building of many railroads that would form the second more northern transcontinental railroad route across America.  After a childhood in Kentucky he worked from 1871 until the 1920’s in the financial and management departments of many railroads. His early career saw him involved in every railroad running through Kansas City. At one point, he left Kansas City to become general land commissioner of the Union Pacific. Eventually he became the joint manager of the Oregon Railroad & Navigation Company, part of a group of railroads creating lines from California to Seattle as well as linking an east west route across to Lake Superior. The city of Seattle is where he settled his family and fortune.  At one point, he was one of the richest men in America. Most of this money was lost in the stock market crash of 1929.

I learned none of this from my family of origin.  Growing up I heard occasional vague references to the Smith money, but I did not learn anything about it from any family member. I searched on my own for information about Charles Jackson Smith.  No one discussed this fortune let alone the shoulders upon which this fortune was made.  There were stories of going down to the Seattle docks to buy valuables for cheap from immigrants arriving from China and Russia. Yet, there was no awareness that these were people that would go on to get exploited by Charles Jackson Smith and the railroads after their “warm welcome” to America with American capitalism at work in the “fair” marketplace of the docks.

There are so many disconnects. A couple blogs back I wrote about each person’s life force energy as their true wealth.  Here was a situation in which a group of robber barons, Charles Jackson Smith included, used other people’s life force to accrue vast fortunes for themselves while robbing the land, native people and all railroad workers.

What had Seattle meant to my grandmother, coming of age with this legacy? I don’t think she had anything but conventional thoughts about her family or their money. Hers was a gilded cage.  She told me she loved Seattle’s frontier roots. However, instead of getting to savor the expansive feelings of a new city, she herself was trapped in the ironclad social expectations laid on her by the social circle her rich family moved in. Pictures of her in the Seattle society page often show someone struggling to look pleased that going to tea every afternoon was a requirement not a choice.  She married a man from out east, maybe to escape, but his own brilliant career left her stuck in the same role she had played in Seattle as social hostess.

The spiritual heaviness of the money must also have been there for her but as an entirely unknown factor in her depression.  Additionally, there was complete silence when I was growing up about my grandmother having the money not my grandfather. We heard again and again about Grandpa’s financial prowess but there was only one shaming tale told about Grandma and money.  This oft repeated story was that my grandmother snuck out to an auction during the depression and bought a Spanish sea chest for $25.  Even though she is a grown woman when this happens, she is described as naughty and extravagant but also smart enough to buy something priceless for no money.  I understood this story to be about her spending my grandfather’s money without his permission and in a reckless manner, yet actually it was her money. 

Not that this money could bring a lightness to her being.  The Angels explained to me that money with this kind of heavy karma is best used in philanthropic endeavors in order to be cleaned. My grandmother had a big but wounded heart. In many conversations with me she revealed a deep interest in spiritual matters that she had to keep hidden in her confining social world. Had she known the karma of the money, I hope she would have given away the money with creativity and courage.  Without this information, she continued to plan cocktail parties with the butler.

Modern robber barons following in Charles Jackson Smith’s footstep join him in being like the emperor with no clothes.  Because they do not acknowledge the life force energy of those they use in their quest for big fortunes, they gather piles of excrement.  Others around them may say, “Oh how amazing!” but this is not the case. The money is energetic crap when it is earned through an unequal exchange and when those doing the actual work are not paid fairly for their contribution of life force energy.

The Angels note that in making and using money, it helps to think about the fairness of the transaction.  This helps keep the money as clean as possible.  If someone is making an enormous profit, someone is not being fairly compensated and the money will accrue negative karma.

Some final thoughts on the difference between money and wealth. Not only is true wealth our life force energy, but true wealth is what goes with us when us when we die.  It’s the energy of love, brother and sisterhood, the integrity we’ve shown and our generosity . It’s how we’ve experienced and expressed ourselves as beloveds in a sea of beloveds, part of cosmic oneness but sovereign unto ourselves.

After I finished this blog, I debated whether to post it or not. Was this all TMI? Then I stumbled on one of Anastasia’s insights from the Ringing Cedars of Russia series by Vladmir Meagre. Anastasia says that money distracts people from their true purpose.  This thought encouraged me to share this blog. Anastasia’s remark also felt like a continuing message from the Angels that I was spared a great burden by being disinherited.

In the early years at the farm, the Angels and Elementals supersized the vegetables.  I began my partnership with these beloveds with great hope, enthusiasm and love, but in the mammoth cabbages there was encouragement that I wasn’t imagining the power of our work together.  As visitors began to wander into the gardens like a scene from “Field of Dreams”, I grew to appreciate other harvests beyond big produce. The gardens felt happier and more light filled than any place I’d ever been. The garden and its Flowers were proving to be a source of healing light.

Thirty five years later, the produce is usually of normal girth though most years something is surprisingly supersized.  In general, I face the same dilemmas other gardeners face like weeds and slugs. Nonetheless, my partnership with Angels and Elementals keeps our work full of innovations and wonder.  For every mundane problem, my partners have a solution that often is both unusual but somehow down to earth.  When I get in my own head with my own (unfortunate) solutions, the Angels and Elementals have patience and humor.  Humor is one of their main ingredients in everything we do together (and I am sure my antics make their humor easy to come by).  Sometimes when I am submerged in a gnarly garden difficulty and I can’t get out of my own way to believe it when the Angels say, “All is well.”, the gardens themselves are the cure. To walk through them is to feel loved and uplifted by the beloved Earth and all beings connected with her.  

So why go over this territory about this partnership? In truth, this partnership is no special relationship available to only a few.  This partnership is available to one and all.  

Why did this partnership happen in my life?  I’d read several books about Findhorn, a community in northern Scotland where the humans worked consciously with the Angels and Elementals of Nature. I was so inspired that I wanted to do this too. I thought I needed to visit Findhorn to learn how to catch the magic, but I didn’t have the money for such a trip. At first, I concluded this meant I was out of luck as far as working with Nature the way they did at Findhorn. Yet a conviction arose within me that maybe I could make a Findhorn here.  After all, I loved everything about Nature, Angels and Elementals, and if they talked to me, I would listen.

 I asked to begin a partnership with these beings.  I asked for signs they were there.  I got so many signs I was tripping over them. Literally. Then I figured out how to ask them questions and get answers through the yes and no format of kinesiology.  As the path of connection deepened from daily even hourly communication, I began to hear and see these partners. I was on my way, asking questions about every aspect of gardening and life.  

In my enthusiasm, I shared what I was doing with other people. I even gave classes after a few years of astounding results.  Some people were really interested and joined me in gardening in this way.  Some felt I was delusional. I’ve always marched to my own drummer, so it didn’t much matter to me when others thought I had flipped my lid. After all, it is none of my business what other people think of me.  The vast love and kindness of this unfolding partnership was enough without validation from the world.  However, validation came faster than I could have imagined possible when other people and animals experienced the energy and vibration of our main harvest, Flower Essences.

I’ve always loved the feedback from the animals. Here’s a memory from the first season I had Flower Essences at hand. A  raging pit bull came roaring onto the farm from parts unknown. He circled the Venus Garden at a ferocious pace.  Quickly a couple of us working in the garden offered this canine visitor a dish of water with a few drops of Flower Essences in the water.  He drank deeply then abruptly settled in the grass to sleep peacefully for a few hours.  After that he trotted off never to be seen again.  This happens so often.  We are a destination for animal who have the volition to hightail it over here for a vibrational fill-up.  And we are so glad we can get our Essences to the animals who can’t visit.

One more thing about “garden problems”.  As my partners and I consider typical concerns like strange weather or poor germination, in addition to offering effective if unusual suggestions my partners also share the underlying energetic reasons for why things happen.  Slowly they have taught me a lot about balance.

My garden difficulties in all their forms are often metaphors for changes I need to make in my own personal life or in the life of Green Hope Farm.  For example, two summers ago I got a kidney infection right when I needed to plant the Red Shiso.  I couldn’t plant the crop on my own as I had been doing, so I asked all my adult children to gather and dig the garden and plant the seeds.  This was the first inkling for me that I would be passing the baton of the daily operations of the farm on to the younger generation that fall, and that doing all these things on my own was not a balanced way to go forward.

Our world is going through a process of finding greater balance.  It’s the death of patriarchy with all the sour, sticky business a dying age brings, but that doesn’t mean that the new world we enter isn’t being born right in front of us.  Because I have seen challenging situations turn around on a dime here at the farm, I know that will be the case in the broader world.  As our focus shifts to truly caring for our Earth, we will flow into a new way of relating to our precious planet and each other.  And yes, I feel that shift is well underway and we will get to this work in time to save our precious planet and ourselves.

It is always true that when there are endings, beginnings have already begun . We don’t always see them because we are so focused on the drama of the endings.  Working consciously with Nature is a beginning that is underway in many places including here.  The old way of ignoring, patronizing and destroying Nature is dying.  When we look up from the death of the old way, we will find so many new beginnings. AND our Angelic and Elemental partners will be there with us, grateful that we have made the collective turn.

I am excited at the prospect of being able to help more people to work consciously with the Angels overlighting Nature and the Elementals that bring it all into manifestation. My partnership with Angels and Elementals has been a central joy and purpose in my life. I know it can be a joyful path for anyone who wants it.  I see the Angels and Elementals standing ready to begin and continue with us all.

I asked the Angels and Elementals if the blog was complete and they said no.  They asked me to mention the Lion’s Ear in this year’s Venus Garden.  This is a beloved plant whom I first met in St John, USVI.  It’s a plant originally from Africa with deep connections to African shamanism.  As an Essence it brings so many profound gifts, but the one that the Angels and Elementals want me to mention right now is the gift of bringing us closer to the wisdom, love and guidance of our wisest ancestors.

The first time I saw this plant, I found a two foot specimen on the side of a St John road.  A speeding jeep sent me into the bushes and there I found this old friend.  Last year, I grew Lion’s Ear in the gardens here.  It grew to five feet in height nestled under the Tansy in the Rose Garden.  This year it played a major role in the Safe Passage Garden ie this year’s mandala in the Venus Garden.  It is currently eight feet tall and still reaching higher. The garden resembles a womb receiving the spark of life then giving birth to this new life.  The Lion’s Ear sits on either side of the birth canal of the garden where the energy is born and the birth is complete. 

Lion’s Ear lifts us up for this final push. Yes, we are almost there. And yes, our ancestors from time immemorial when harmony with Nature was the way of life are here with us, helping us, nudging us into a New Life.  It is a New Life that springs from a recollection of this ancestral wisdom then takes off into new territory more beautiful than anything that has gone before.

Light energy moves at an increasing quicksilver pace, yet the man made world sometimes appears to have an immoveable heaviness.  The new Light pouring in brings bliss and gratitude, but this bliss is sometimes shaken by what fills the frame.  Man made frames seem intent on slowing us down, filling us with fear and keeping us in the illusion that things can’t get better and we need to go backwards to handle the situations we face. 

Nature has a completely different message.  On the micro level it gently and persistently calls us to the truth and power of this incoming Light. It helps us experience this Light as transformative and creative, loving and omnipresent. It encourages us to let go and evolve.  On the macro level Nature speaks of the imbalances we must address, but this is always balanced with support to make the shift from the micro level of Nature.

Meanwhile “the forces that were” bring us a last bitter moment of chaos before the Aquarian age opens up for us all. And it will open up because Nature is with us, Divinity is with us and yes, we are with us. As Coach Taylor in the ‘90s show Friday Night Lights said, “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.”

One example for me of “Us being with Us” is our local employment situation.  For many months, every box store and restaurant chain in the commercial strip closest to the farm has had enormous help wanted signs out front. Some big chains have cut back hours and even closed for stretches due to employee shortages. Post lockdown, local people didn’t go back to jobs that didn’t pay a living wage. Lockdown illuminated their own personal value, and people made different choices about returning to work. 

Recently I’ve noticed the help wanted signs mention significantly higher hourly wages. Sometimes it’s hard to see the power we all actually have in the face of corporate structures, but here we see it clearly.  If these enormous companies want to function in our region, they are going to have to pony up more money to pay employees. After all, these companies ride off the life force of their employees.  Isn’t it about time this becomes an equal exchange?

I love seeing people respect the value of their life force.  It’s the true power of the world.  I am heartened by individuals walking from jobs where their contribution of life force is not honored.

In a game manipulated by powerbrokers, a group of individuals have bested the powerbrokers. A supermarket clerk told me that the pressure in the system meant she had received a $4 an hour raise from $11 to $15.  As the bagger, also getting the raise noted, this is $8,000 more a year.    

Speaking of “the powers that were”, someone sent me an interesting You Tube video in which a person in the US military was talking about a long running project called Stargazer.  This project involved hiring many psychics to predict outcomes for various geopolitical situations.  If a high percentage of psychics predicted one outcome, the military would take that into advisement in figuring out their policies going forward. 

This person explained that when the psychics got to 2012 and beyond, they could pick up no data on any situation.  At first there was concern that this meant there was some catastrophic life ending planetary event in 2012, but later the people in the program came to feel that there was some sort of awakening event after 2012 that made everything so completely different IN A GOOD WAY as to make it impossible for anyone to imagine or predict anything from the then current framework.

There is more to what this person said that I will share in a moment, but I find it really interesting that 2012 was when the Angels began to use the phrase “The Great Leap” when describing the evolutionary leap in consciousness humankind was making.

Addressing the issue of how could it be 2021 with still no absolute sign of this awakening event, the person in the video gave this wonderful analogy.  If we were to watch two grandmasters play chess, we might get a general sense of how the game was going, but for most of us, we would not know who was winning until the very end.  However the grandmasters themselves would know maybe 30 or 40 moves out who was going to win.  The rest of the game would go on in a framework of both players knowing who was going to win. We might be in the dark about the outcome, but they wouldn’t be.

This echoes what the Angels say all the time. The game is over.  The Light won. The Earth and all of us on it will get our awakening. We help this process by welcoming the Light pouring in. And “the forces that were”?  We just have to deal a little longer with them as they muck about a bit longer.  But they will go.  It’s a done deal, and we’ll discover a whole new way of being in their wake.