Yahooooo! It’s that time of year for us- Garden planning time! Today I gave my arm a workout by inventorying all our seeds- opening and closing the dozens of ziplock bags I keep leftover seeds in to check what remains from last year to use this year. I need to start somewhere with using my left and right hand together if I hope to be shoveling manure by April!

For 2013, staff goddess and beloved of the honeybees, Laura Carpenter, has been given the assignment by the Angels and Elementals to design the main vegetable garden at Green Hope Farm. Having Laura in charge of creating the design with the Angels and Elementals of this central circular garden feels very right and very auspicious to me.

Bringing Laura into the design process reminds me of twenty five years ago when the Angels and Elementals had me do classes for a number of years to share how I co-created gardens with them. This was back in the 80’s and early 90’s, a time when there was a great deal of interest, at least in our region, in Angels and Elementals. The classes drew all sorts of people in a happy and eclectic mix of cultures and personalities. I originally did the classes as a one day workshop but then found the fun of the class was in meeting a number of times. This was because of the stories people returned to class with after they got rolling with the project of designing their gardens with help from “upstairs.”.

Even the skeptics found themselves in a state of amazement, and this was because in-between classes the Angels and Elementals would use all sorts of inventive, funny even outrageous ways to demonstrate that they did indeed exist and wanted very much to work with the class participants.

My favorite story, which I know I have mentioned in the blog before, involved a woman who thought the class a bit of a fool’s errand with fairies the stuff of children’s stories. I told her at our first meeting that there was nothing the Elementals enjoyed more than proving they were there to someone who was at least open to seeing the signs. I encouraged her to ask for exactly what she needed from these masters of manifestation and then to sit back and watch the show.

After that first class she drew a line in the sand and declared to the Elementals if indeed they existed that she would only proceed with the class and an open mind if the Elementals sent her free of charge all the ingredients for a garden.

The next class she had all of us on the edge of our seats as she reported how since this pronouncement she had been given unasked a dump truck load of well rotted manure, a woman’s entire garden of perennial plants and all the seeds for an enormous vegetable garden. After this experience, her life turned in a new direction and she became a force to be reckoned with as she painted and sold hundreds of gorgeous oil paintings of Angels and Elementals as well as gardened with them in a wildly beautiful way.

Hearing each person’s stories and seeing the unique designs they co-created with the Angels and Elementals was wonderful. It was the beginning of my understanding of how unlimited the nature of our co-creative efforts could be. There were just so many different designs with such unexpected combinations of flowers, herbs and vegetables. The sky was truly the limit as many designs went airborne with all kinds of superstructures. These classes and my own experience in receiving gorgeous new twists in design each season helped me let go of the gardens each fall, knowing in full confidence that the following year’s designs would be soul satisfying in new but deeply comforting ways.

I usually taught these classes in late winter or very early spring. Once the growing season got underway, many people invited me to see their gardens and how they had translated their designs into form. I loved these visits to their gardens. Elementals in particular have such a zesty sense of humor and the field trips were always chock full of funny stories and funny happenings. The gardens themselves were incredibly vibrant, robust and spectacular. This often left the participants in shock and awe.

One visit to a Vermont garden created by a woman in the class, I wandered her incredibly exuberant and lush almost tropical garden. The woman showed me around her paradise with her hands joyfully in the air in celebration. The garden felt so inviting that I wanted to settle down under the bean fences she had woven and just watch the entire season unfold. As with so many of these gardens, everything was super sized as was her amazed grin! It was all such a fantastic reminder that the Angels and Elementals WANT to work cooperatively with all of us to heal our shared planet.

And now, Laura will see where the Angels and Elementals lead her! Will it be a cold cabbage summer of many brassicas or a fiery one of eggplant and jalapeño? What plants have an affinity with her? Which Flowers will mix with what vegetables? My time apart mending my arm has shown me that I must pass the baton to others to help manage this bigger entity that is Green Hope Farm. I am so happy to have beloveds here ready to share the baton and dig with it!

A new generation looks to co-create a new earth and I want to help! Inside and out, happy expansive changes are unfolding here at the farm with our many ever present Angelic and Elemental guides there to support us. So many new people fill the office and surprisingly, after twenty years with an almost all women staff, we have a lot of men here. The new crew of Miguel and company have many great ideas for how to run things. It is an adventure to begin to be a part of all they have organized in my absence.

For me, it was also such a pleasure to sit with Laura and begin to flesh out other gardens while Laura begins to plan the main one. Laura and I sat in a cornucopia of seed catalogues, pens and papers and found ourselves lit from within with joy as we headed towards spring and all things green and flowering.

SOME THOUGHTS IF YOU WANT TO WORK ON YOUR GARDEN WITH THE ANGELS AND ELEMENTALS

1) Know that the Angels and Elementals want very much to work with you and will make this as easy as they can.

2) Your imagination is the bridge for you to receive their ideas and guidance. Trust what you imagine!

3) Remember that Angels are the ones who design all form and Elementals are the ones that manifest all form. This means the Angels will give you the design for your gardens and then the Elementals will help you with all tasks related to planting and managing the gardens. I call both groups into all my meetings and ask for their help with everything.

4) As you meet with the Angels and Elementals, explain what you hope to do and then look to them for shape, layout, vegetable and flower choices as well as seed varieties. They know the kind of weather this growing season will bring to your micro-climate. Going with their choices will save you much disappointment. Even if you want melons because you love them, if the Angels and Elementals are not pushing melons, assume they know more about what kind of weather lies ahead than you do.

5) If you need something for your garden and don’t know where to get it, ask the Elementals to help. They can manifest anything and can arrange for you to find what you are looking for somehow or other. Once they asked me to make a copper pyramid formed to the same angle as the pyramids at Giza. Before I could even freak out about the unlikelihood of me being able to do any of this, they sent an enormous sheet of copper my way and a band of roofers that were so excited at this weird project of making a miniature copper pyramid. Every Flower Essence at Green Hope Farm goes under this pyramid at least once before heading off to you thanks to the Elementals (And what does this pyramid do? It clears and amplifies the positive energies of the Flower Essences).

6) Relax! This is wonderful healing work but perfection is not a relevant idea. This is about creating community and working together creatively AND joyously. It can be fun and funny since Elementals love to lighten everything with the leavening of humor! Expect to be entertained! Expect to discover how loved you really are!

Amaryllis on the kitchen table there to help.

As my many broken bones mend and heal, my gratitude increases for some of the stalwart Flower Essence friends that have helped me so much. Today I thought I would write about one of the key players in my recovery- our Animal Wellness collection mix, RECOVERY.

This mix has been in my water glass every day since my arm break, and I continue to feel its vibration of deep support each day. As I look at the Flower Essences that compose this mix, each ingredient feels significant to me. With the experience of bone mending and recovery so fresh in my experience, I appreciate the wisdom of the Angels’ recipe for this mix in a whole new way.

I thought I would go through the ingredients in Recovery here and describe how I feel the specific Flower Essence in the mix has served me in the last few months. I have always taken this remedy for any physical, emotional, spiritual or mental challenges and so very often the Angels have recommended it for others both two and four footed. I hope the following helps in a small way to explain why.

Bermuda Olivewood– Collecting the shattered experience of self both literally and figuratively after injury or during illness is a significant challenge. This Essence has a unique peaceful strength that helps us feel strong, calm and collected amidst the chaos of illness or injury.

Burdock– When injured or ill we depend on our blood for so many healing processes and never more so than when we have broken bones. This one is a godsend for our hardworking blood.

Capeweed– This diminutive wildflower from Bermuda has a sparkling energizing even zippy vibration which supports us to rekindle this kind of zip within us as we recover. I think it is very hard for us to be aware during a injury or illness process how much we need this fire rekindled. I was never more glad than when I began to feel like myself a week or so ago, but until then I wasn’t fully aware of how out of it I had been. Illness or injury requires so much energy, and this and many of the Essences in this mix help us access energy so we can begin to rebuild our natural vitality.

Christmas Bush– Christmas Bush is for wound healing. It is a very profound remedy that holds information about closing wounds that resist closure as well as closing those wounds that follow a more usual course. I had four inch pins through my wrist for seven weeks. They broke the surface with an open wound marked by knobby plastic beading. When my pins were pulled out, the wound closure was impeccable inside and out. As the surgeon had used an electric drill to put the pins in place, this was saying something.

Comfrey– This one supports us on so many levels. Bones hold memories strongly and Comfrey is all about cleansing us of sorrowful memories. This is good for bone health as clear, high vibration bones are obviously going to healthier than ones caring sorrows. I wish I had been able to release the difficult memories my wrist bones held onto in a gentler way than these breaks, but I remain so grateful for Comfrey and the many Essences that helped wash me clean after the breaks. Comfrey also helps to knit things together after the release. Bravo Comfrey.

Dandelion– Dandelion supports us with all issues of the muscles. Just as Comfrey cleanses the bones, Dandelion cleanses the muscles. So much tension is held in the muscles and among other things, Dandelion helps us release this tension with as little pain as possible. This translates to easier muscle repair and also frees up energy that might otherwise be held by the muscles in the form of tension.

Devil’s Bit Scabiosa– Injury and illness can leave us with temporary or even permanent limitations that take some getting used to. This dear friend helps us feel our wholeness as we get accustomed to our new situation. I am so very happy that eventually I will regain the use of my right arm and hand. This Essence in the Recovery mix helps soothe me when I feel frustrated at how much I still cannot do.

Gooseberry– This is another Essence which helps us deal with the losses that illness and injury bring. It has helped me feel I have not been through this experience to be lessened but to be washed free of some old stuck junk leaving me able to fill up with more love. I thank Gooseberry and other Flower friends for helping me experience my situation this way.

Henry Hudson Rose– Illness and injury makes us vulnerable in our perhaps unexpected weaknesses and challenges. These experiences can make us feel quite exposed, even humiliated. This Rose Essence helps us feel buffered and safe but also softens the blows in difficult situations. It also helps us feel confidently in the flow of healing so our circumstances don’t leave us feeling marginalized.

La Belle Sultane Rose– Seeing our situation in a different light helps when we are ill or injured. This Rose helps us feel more connected to our timeless selves and a more eternal perspective. While our personalities may be freaking out that we can’t be what we were before the injury, our timeless selves know that our worthiness was never tied to what we are doing. It is a given regardless of circumstances. The effect of surrendering to this truth has a distinct restorative effect which is one reason this is such a wonderful Essence.

Larkspur– For a few weeks after the accident, my x-rays continued to look dire. The surgeon had me in each week to cut off my cast, x-ray me and ponder if something more needed to be done, all because of the severity of the bone breakages, the precarious nature of the pin placements and the fact that nothing seemed to be changing. During these visits the room hummed with the concern; would more surgery be necessary?. As when a boat comes about from sailing one direction and waits to catch the wind in a new direction, this was the lull before the wind caught the sails again. Then one visit, I was different: my hand and arm looked different and the x-rays showed enormous change. We could all see that my situation had turned and gained momentum in a new healing direction. Larkspur knows how to turn our vessels to a new course and then get things moving towards healing. What a moment of happiness it was when even I could see in the X-rays that my bones had begun their journey of rebuilding. We all cheered and inside I was thanking so many friends including Larkspur.

Lauriana Rose– I had to ask the Angels about this one’s purpose in the mix. They said balancing polarities is never more important than when injury or illness has thrown this natural balance mechanism off and this Rose serves this re-balancing function in the mix.

Lavender– This is another extremely protective and reassuring Essence friend that helps us stay grounded in the truth that divine will is beneficently at work in our life even when -maybe especially when- we are in the turmoil of illness or injury. To rest in a heartfelt knowledge that everything is okay and we are loved when some of our cultural beliefs links injury and illness to punishment and shame is no small gift.

Lemon– Lemon has many gifts but with an illness or injury, it is often its support with issues around wound healing and scar formation that make Lemon such a tremendous resource.

Maple– First of all there is such a vibration of sweet restoring strength in Maple. Then there is the way it balances out our monkey mind so the wigged out thoughts simmer down. And it doesn’t do this with a heavy hand but with a flood of sweet love. What a treasure.

Pumpkin– This one is like the bugles of reveille awakening our whole being to healing work.

Rosa Mundi– I have so much respect for people who don’t have an end in sight with their injury or illness process. Thembi said to me that if I lived in her native village in South Africa, there would have been no choice but to cut off my arm. Wow. This Rose helps us all to keep on in our love for life and the divinity in life even when the journey is extremely arduous and no oasis is yet in sight.

Self Heal– The Mitfords of such books as “Love in a Cold Climate” had a mother who was always talking about the innate healing ability of “the good body.” I love the way this phrase expresses a trust in the healing abilities of our bodies, and this Essence liberates and empowers this trust so we can let go into a place of confidence about our healing process amidst illness and injury.

Spruce– Illness and injury can leave us feeling cooped up like a beloved dog at the kennel. This one helps us manage our time of constraint with more poise. And less barking!

Trout Lily– I have known many Flower Essence practitioners who feel there is no more important Flower Essence than this wildflower beauty. It is about rising from the depths, taking the mixed bag life has thrust at us and finding vitality and the wisdom to go on from strength to strength. Needless to say, it’s gifts are deeply restorative.

Vitex– My saint of a husband has cooked all the meals for more than two months including a breakfast in bed for me each day. He is not as into vegetables as me which makes me very glad for Vitex as it helps us get all the nutritious minerals from whatever food we have before us.

Zucchini– A wildly exuberant flood of restorative life giving energy is this Essence’s gift to the mix.

And so you see why I have taken this wonderful mix, RECOVERY, all day every day and end this blog by raising my canning jar of Flower Essence water in a toast of thanksgiving for this mix. In the weeks to come, I hope to write about the other steadfast Flower Essence friends who have been at my side these months. Can’t wait for when my arm is liberated and I begin to learn to type with two hands again!

Humble pie! These days I eat a lot of this. Let me share with you from topic to topic how I might have once defined myself but now, not so much.

*Witty Conversationalist (or at least able to assemble full and lively sentences)

In my day, I spoke to crowds of several hundred people about cutting edge topics. Now I say things at dinner like, “Could someone cut my meat?” and “Look how I can wiggle my fingers.”

*Crafty

This time of year I usually have a pile of knitting on every seat in the house and a hot glue dispenser at my hip. This December, I am fighting with the cats over who gets to lounge on the clutter free sofas. The cats are as bewildered as me by this knit free world but just as determined as I am to claim the empty real estate.

*Never a Fashion Icon (but at least things matched and I could dress myself).

My standards are at an all time low. Take yesterday for example. Lizzy and baby Grace took me for a walk with my new BFF, a ski pole. I was quite a vision.

Earlier in the day, my valet, Jim, helped me dress as I still can’t do shirts very well by myself. Fortunately, he doesn’t have too much of a wardrobe to keep track of as his twelfth job. I have only one sweater that fits over the cast. It’s a kelly green cardigan with blue polka dots. I wear it 24/7. At the end of this adventure it will either be a beloved object like a blankie or I will burn it. Maybe I will need to hang onto it so baby Gracie recognizes her Grandma.

Of course this signature sweater was part of my assemblage. I have a couple big t-shirts to choose from that fit over the cast. On the top of the laundry pile (Jim’s ninth job) was a yellow pale yellow dingy, much washed, gray t-shirt. This looked spectacular with my pink and raspberry striped pajama bottoms (there for warmth) and olive green skirt. Voila! I was ready for fashion week.

Nota bene- Kelly green and olive don’t look as bad together as you might think but maybe that’s because the pajama bottoms commanded all the attention. My cast also drew the eye. It is now purple- replacing the last one that was a more restrained royal blue.

In any case, maybe it is a good thing to be garish- It certainly makes it less likely someone will add insult injury and hit me with a car because they don’t see me on the side of the road.

All in all, when imagining my fashion choices….Think bag lady. Think Fashion Police. Think “What Was She Thinking when she got dressed.” Very little apparently.

*In the Kitchen

I usually have a lot of items simmering, marinating, stewing and melding this time of year. On the shelves, there are usually a lot of peculiar ingredients for brittles, pane forte. biscotti, rugelash, preserved lemons or homemade vanilla extract- I say ridiculous things like, “Why buy puff pastry when we can make own.” or “Let’s hand grind our own micro-batch of honey mustard.” or “Do you think we can make our own pomegranate molasses?” Yes, usually I am an obnoxious, even smug, participant of our food nation.

This year I cannot open a can. I cannot unscrew a lid. Saran wrap is beyond me as is tearing open a cellophane bag. I cannot use scissors and teeth aren’t as good at opening things as I would have thought.

Thank goodness for wandering staffers who can cut things open for me during their lunch break. At breakfast and dinner, I gratefully eat whatever is put in front of me by Iron Chef James. About a month before my arm break, Iron Chef James said he wanted to increase his repertoire in the kitchen. Santa answered that request early.

*On the Road

My mother never did learn to drive. Wherever we took her we called it, “Driving Miss Betsy.” One memorable night she barked at designated driver, Jim, as we left a restaurant parking lot, “ Get out there and step on it.” This became a sort of sarcastic mantra of car travel for our family.

Twenty years later and chauffeur Jim is no longer “Driving Miss Betsy”. Now it’s “Driving Miss Molly.” Going on an errand is such excitement for Miss Molly that her new mantra is, “Start off slow then taper off.” I also beg for takeout because the round trip from our farm to civilization is so fascinating. Ahhhhhhhh the bright lights of Broadway West Lebanon, NH.

*Cat Whisperer

Now this is an arena where my skills might actually be improving. I have covered my bed in buckwheat pillows so the cats each have a nest for daytime visits. They come and go keeping me apprised of all Green Hope Farm gossip: squirrel census, chipmunk activity, dog misbehavior, who is sashaying around the neighborhood with what fellow cat.

But maybe I am not doing such a fabulous job at this either. I have just noticed that all the pillows are empty today. I think maybe I have become a bit needy, wanting them to help me feel I know the pulse of anything, anything at all even if it is squirrel gossip.

*Grandmotherishness

Thank goodness for baby Grace. She doesn’t care that I can’t pick her or anything else up. She likes our games with her favorite caterpillar toy as much as I do. She is not bored that I know nothing about anything. Funny noises and the same three songs seem to be sufficient to qualify as good conversation. She likes when my clothes clash or my hair looks like dreads. She is not expecting homemade designer crafts or snacks for the holidays; she has her mom’s round the clock milk bar and that’s enough.

Yep, Grace is the grace of this time for me. The whipped cream on my humble pie.

Even obscure dreams have something to offer. Dreams that on first recall I can’t make much sense of often eventually give a nudge onward in one direction or another or some glimmer of encouragement or insight.

Yet it is hard not to be particularly grateful for big dreams that scream, “Listen close- this is SIGNIFICANT!”

In one of these PAY ATTENTION dreams many years ago, I dreamed I was in a room with this compact little diorama about the size of a dollhouse.

Okay, so most people might yawn when faced with a diorama, but I have always loved tiny things- dollhouses and the miniature Mexican pottery displays that contain whole little worlds. This diorama was like that, so in the dream I went right over to look at it more closely, and I saw that the title of the diorama was, “Molly’s Life.”

Half the charm of a miniature world is moving the pieces around so that is what I tried to do, but all the pieces were very, very hot. I realized I couldn’t move anything in the diorama.

As I stood back from the diorama, I saw that a figure was holding up the diorama, and I recognized the figure was God. I don’t know how I knew this exactly, but I just did- just like we recognize places in dreams even when they don’t look the same or we just know things in dreams that during daily life might feel hard to believe. In that now, I knew it was God and I felt so very glad that God was holding up the diorama of my life. Then God turned and winked at me, and my gladness changed to bliss.

That dream stuck with me. I wrote it down. I read it again and again. But it is probably all the things that have happened to me since that have made the dream even more precious to me.

Just like everyone else, many things have happened in my life that felt unexpected and completely out of my control. When things have veered from my idea of a good plan, I have often tried to solve and resolve things only to finally surrender to what is. Eventually I had to acknowledge that what happened was the plan for me whether my personality liked it or not.

The dream and these experiences of learning to surrender have encouraged me to pay more attention to my inner guidance about what I can do in a situation and what is not my business but God’s business. Fifteen years since this dream occurred and I am a little quicker to recognize furniture in the diorama that I can’t move before I waste years burning my fingers trying to move immovable objects.

Sometimes it is very painful not to be able to reset the stage and move that furniture. At times like this, the dream consoles me on several levels. Yes, I can’t move the pieces around as I wish, but God not only knows the best arrangement of the pieces but also has a sense of humor. There was something of, “This is a big funny game we are in together and I will see you through.” in the wink. Remembering the wink helps when the game lands me on “Go to Jail” not “Park Place”.

The dream invites me to play the game with my sense of humor too. In between my two weird arm breaks, I managed to fit in other fun stuff like getting disinherited and losing my share in the Adirondack camp we loved so much, but gosh no one could take my sense of humor from me.

I still get to choose my attitude in response to events.

Right now, as I look at the royal blue cast on my arm, covering hardware, stitches and a wilderness of mending bones. I slot my present circumstance under the header of “Things in the Diorama I could not change.”

When I tripped in the woods with Lizzy and Grace at my side, I broke this second arm in a very similar way as the other arm break four years ago. The surgeon who used an electric drill on my bones and everyone involved are quick to tell me it is no ordinary mess just a matching mess.

“Oops I did it again. “

According to Lizzy, I said this even before my arm hit the ground, and I must say the whole thing had a feeling of inevitability once it began. I am only grateful that I didn’t know this matching arm break was diorama destiny before it happened- that the four years in between breaks I wasn’t consciously waiting for this second fall-

It was bad enough to sit in the woods waiting to go to the hospital and flashing back on the parade of surgery, recuperation and rehab that had suddenly gone from being in my rear view mirror to the entire landscape ahead of me.

As I held my smashed arm, waiting for the ride that would begin this Groundhog Day, I tried to just have faith. My diorama and everyone else’s are held up by God. There is some complicated divine pattern at work for all our lives, and sometimes this pattern is a pretty difficult pill to swallow, but the plan is a good one and all of us are held up with infinite love and tenderness by loving hands.

Which means that for now and maybe for always, my job (besides taking tons of Flower Essences and asking for help and taking direction from those who are trying to help me mend and being as cheerful and as thankful as I can be to dear Jim and all loving family and friends and not taking myself too seriously) is to just trust or as they say, “Let go and let God.

And be grateful I don’t have a third arm.

there is never a dull moment for ghf staff and family, and last week i threw all of them a curveball when in my wonderful klutziness i tripped on a rock up in the woods and broke my right arm.

now i have a matched set of broken arms~ the left broken in a wheelbarrow mishap five years ago and now an equal enthralling accident involving perfectly good shoes for woods walking and a rather unassuming rock-

since surgery on wednesday, i am now held together with wires and a cast and looking ahead to at least six weeks of being out of the loop as literally things like dressing myself are now two people activities with me standing there like a tree while jim tries to find something that will fit over my cast

yes, i will bow out for a little while at least from most activities and stay in bed where presumably i can’t trip on anything else- just me and my quarts of pink flower essence water and all four cats who think this is one big slumberparty= which really it is

now before i go back to bed, i just wanted you to know that the lovely staff will now go from at least having me around to ask questions to me away from all the action-and i am really proud of them already for rising to the occasion and i know you will be too

and also, i want to take this five minute interlude in which jim is willing to supervise me at a computer to say that i think it really unfair even tragic that i don’t even get to be the most important broken arm in the family as all talk is focused on grunk who apparently broke his arm while actually doing something dangerous and now the broken arm actually threatens the patriots playoff chances- whereas my broken arm doesn’t threaten anything as ben was already in charge of the turkey for thanksgiving

i feel sorry for grunk but also wonder why he needed to suck up all the sympathy vote from me- from my bed upstairs i think i am overhearing some heartfelt conversation about the children’s dear sweet mother laid low by a broken arm and then no, its really all about grunk

as i return upstairs to bed, all i can do is thank god the cats don’t care about the nfl and they still think i have the most important broken arm in their lives.