Healing the Wounds of Patriarchy One Flower at a Time

A lovely Flower Essence practitioner from Australia asked for Flower Essence suggestions for a series of concerns yesterday. Her questions and the Essences that came forward to suggest themselves reminded me that the balancing of masculine and feminine energies and healing the wounds of patriarchy is a global concern.

I am just going to let her questions unfold as they did in her email as the questions took me on a journey. I hope they will take you on this journey too!

Q: What suggestions do you have for core soul issue of feeling like one doesn’t fit in/belong here on earth

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A: Psychillis Macconnellaie from St John is good for this as it helps us graft our life to new or uncomfortable terrain. We also have a combination remedy called Home Away from Home made from all the Flowering plants in our greenhouse- Greenhouse plants have to come to terms with living away from their native habitats as well as removed from the soil they naturally belong in, so this Essence brings much wisdom to the topic of how to thrive in a place that is not home. You might also consider Rosa Mundi – I absolutely love this Rose for this issue. Its I AM affirmation is. ” I AM in this world but not of this world.”

Q: Suggestions for non-acceptance of incarnation, resistance to fully embracing incarnation, not really wanting to “be here”, superficial involvement in life

A: Clematis is the traditional remedy suggested for this, and it does help people awake from daydreaming through life. Here are some other thoughts- Carry Less offers support to remove the sort of filter that we may be seeing through that leaves us feeling life is not worth investing in. Morning Glory has such an enormous expansive energy that helps us open up to embrace life. Belerephon of the Open Door has a magical and mysterious way of ushering us through doors to new places where we feel engaged and reborn. White Flower from Druid is another powerhouse of rebirth that connects to our lives in a new way.


My last suggestion may be the most important. It is so vital right now for us to feel connected to our lives. Being fully present is the only way we can take our lives forward. Our Grounding mix with its many Tree Flower Essences helps us to feel our roots while also expressing ourselves in the world. It is a wonderful ally.


If it’s been too painful to stay connected to our day to day life, one other individual Tree Essence, Redwood, helps us be fully present but take the long view that.  “this too shall pass.”

A: Suggestions for self-sabotaging and self-limiting behavior patterns (subconsciously not TRULY wanting to get well)– linked to above issue (I believe this is also the core issue of some people’s restrictive eating disorders).

Q: All Ego Contracts Null & Void is the first one that comes to mind. It’s a combination of many Essences that help us break free of old outgrown ideas of what we should or should not do.

Many times the ego contracts come from expectations from authority figures such as parents, but often we have internalized these contracts and made them our own. The ego contracts we most need to break are the ones we have with ourselves.


I also like Carry Less for this, as this issue can again be about the filters of perception we carry around with us such as, “With all my flaws, I deserve ill health.” I see this as a wound of patriarchy. Patriarchy suggests the goal is being perfect. The territory beyond patriarchy, the territory of a balanced masculine and feminine, dismantles this goal orientation as well as notions that perfection is what life is about.

Q: Suggestions for paralyzing fear that true self will be “exposed” or “found out” by others (even if there are no wrongdoings or wrong-beings in this lifetime).

A: This is the issue coming up for all of us and most particularly womankind. When I first made The Sacred Feminine combination remedy, I was stunned by the Angels’ description. It is so visceral and immediate. It calls us to let go and let the birth of a new humanity happen NOW and in the VESSEL of our own bodies. It is a call to embody our truth and live it. Yes we have fears, but we have to let the Divine Feminine be born in each of us anyways!

THE BIRTH IS UNDERWAY! Why not embrace it!

Needless to say, this remedy is all about supporting us to get into the delivery room and let our purpose be born in all its wild beauty.


Fragrant Ladies Tresses and The Way Forward are also good because they release this sense that paralysis will prevail. It won’t! These two Essences help us experience that there IS a way forward. We may well have no idea how the Divine Feminine will balance out what has been, but it is good to feel with every fiber of our beings that the BALANCING IS UNDER WAY!

Q: Suggestions for profound fear of the loss of, removal of or harm to loved ones as a result of the aforementioned “exposure”

A: If this has a past life component, Spiddal is great for taking back personal power lost in previous lives. Carry Less also helps to release these past life filters that the old plot line will necessarily be repeated, but Spiddal and also Inishbofin help us to step forward with a new sense of personal power that we and a new plot line can and will prevail.

Chinese Knotweed, a new one from Taiwan, helps with this fear of loss- Here is the beginning of the description of this new friend, “Chinese Knotweed supports determination to follow God’s plan with detachment from all worldly ideas, material infatuations or fear of loss. Her Flower Essence represents complete trust in the divine plan and detachment from all else. She helps us to find crystal clarity that Love is to be honoured above all else.”


Closed Blossom Melastoma from Taiwan is another that helps us anchor in the reality beyond the surface dramas so we can experience that inner certainty that we can never lose what is ours: our eternal self and our oneness with all Divinity.


Looking at this question from a pragmatic angle, if there is an external force of harm at work, Indian Rhododendron from Taiwan and also Rattlesnake Master help remove the toxic forces that threaten- I like how Eight Saints from Taiwan connects us more clearly to the mighty forces at our sides-

The last one that feels important to mention is Sky Flower from Taiwan. It reminds us of the forces of universal order at work. As the Sky Flower description says, “Sky Flower dispels misrepresentations from people or situations with the understanding that, under Heaven, all is plainly clear. She stops us from kowtowing to false faces, freeing us to go where the messages take us without fear and doubt. We will overcome.”

One of the things I have noticed over the years is that the Angels always lead us to make Flower Essences that will be particularly appropriate for the time in which they are created. For example, Equanimity, this year’s Venus Garden remedy feels extremely relevant for right now. This is true about the Taiwan Essences too.

When GHF friends come to us, searching for specific Essences for specific situations, I look to this new collection for appropriate Essences and keep finding them there!

Q: Suggestions for spiritual superiority – disdain for humanity and all of its wrongdoings and downfalls, errors and imperfections.


A: The Camino collection is so good for this as these Essences remind us we are all on the journey together- Rabanal and Galicia are specifically helpful as Rabanal helps us hold the stories and suffering of those around us with particular tenderness while Galicia helps us be compassionate when we are amongst people who don’t experience the journey in the same way as we do.


If this spiritual superiority is an East-West issue then I would look to the new Himalayan Balsam Essence. This opens the door for us to embrace an eastern point of view about our shared planetary home. This is a helpful one to work with first if the Taiwanese Essences feel alien, as this new beloved helps us find the oneness in east and west.

Q: Suggestions for general superiority/speaking ‘down’ to people/ belief that others are useless and idiots and only you are capable.

A: This is the way I frame this in my own mind; This attitude springs from a misunderstanding that we can be better or worse than any one else. The truth is that we are all one and therefore all equal. This idea of superiority/ inferiority is perhaps the worst legacy of patriarchy.

In my experience, this mindset is often a result of growing up in families with black and white patriarchal ideas about spiritual perfection. Both the person who feels worthless and the person who feels superior are equally wounded by this patriarchal values system as both have lost the bead on the truth that we are all infinitely of value!  As it’s a patriarchal wound, I look to Wound Healing to help.


Right now, the new Cacao Essence is also coming up for people for this issue. The Flowers from this tree are all identical and spring right from the mother trunk. This energy in the Flower Essence reminds us all that “We come from the mother and to her we will return.”

Rosemary Essence addresses this mindset differently. It encourages us to feel physically part of humanity and embrace our physicality as physicality diminishes the hold intellectual ideas of superiority have on us. When was the last time any of us were on the dance floor dancing up a storm while simultaneously thinking about how intellectually superior we were from everyone else. IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN when we are fully engaged in our bodies.


Soon we will experience ourselves as divinity in physical form. When we live in this territory of the sacred feminine, we will experience our oneness quite literally and will be set free from tired old ideas of separation and otherness.

Last thought about this question- One that is helpful for a number of the last few concerns is Bo He from Taiwan- It addresses issues of kowtowing to elders by adhering to their values. It helps us leave this kowtowing behind.

Q: Suggestions for obsession with maintaining a completely pure body/fear of contaminating body – eating only pure foods, no contact with chemicals, constant detoxification & cleansing of body – (orthorexia) – an essence other than Crab Apple??


A: Many of the Taiwan ones speak to eating disorders- Bleeding Heart Vine for one- This remedy helps us vomit up any mindset that cripples us with confining patterns or a sense of ourselves as bad. This is an Essence helping us towards immense freedom.

Little Ironweed also from Taiwan helps us find that place of deep release so we can proceed forward with a sense of trust in self and in the Divinity within us.

Ixora from Bermuda offers wonderful support. It helps girls and all womankind know that we own our own bodies and don’t have to establish sovereignty by attacking our own bodies to assume control of them- OUR BODIES ALREADY BELONG TO US!!!


Wound Healing comes forward again as I continue to view so many of these concerns as reflecting patriarchal wounds about perfection. Obsessive ideas of patriarchal perfection dissolve in the experience of just being. Grounded in the Divine feminine, we know we are already everything.

We know we are here to love not to accomplish.

The Sacred Feminine encourages us to find this place of being in the Divine feminine- Solandra is so helpful for supporting us to actually break up the habit of doing doing doing or in this case, cleansing, cleansing, cleansing.

Two other thoughts. The fear component is addressed by Common Knapweed– Its affirmation says it all, “I AM enough.”


Last, consider the wonderful Therese Bugnet Rose which is intent to release us from a preoccupation with our looks.

Q: Suggestions for the “Good Girl” mentality, not wanting to make a mistake, always asking permission, fear of getting it wrong, stickler to the rule

A: This is such a cohesive list of questions as they all dovetail. Here we are back to confronting patriarchy with its ideas of perfection and getting it right i.e. these wounds patriarchy has left in everyone most especially women-

In addition to the ones I have mentioned like The Sacred Feminine, I love Pomegranate and Wild Red Morning Glory. They are great here for helping us know with our whole being that we are powerful. We hold the seeds of all creation within us! We are forces to be reckoned with. We don’t have to apologize for existing!

Last thought- We made The Red Tent to support women not to feel so alone- WE ARE A SISTERHOOD!

Q: Suggestions for “Half-job Harry” people, who passionately start something but lose interest quickly and don’t follow through or finish what they start.

A: On a logistical level, Pumpkin helps us get things done and dismantles the habit of procrastination by getting us in touch with the tremendous life force of Pumpkin. This pattern can arise from a place of believing in our own power to accomplish anything. Queen Anne’s Lace helps us “pull the threads of a divided situation together.” In this case, it helps us to dismantle our sense of somehow not being up to the task.

And as long as I am going over and over the notion of patriarchal wounds, I must say that this lack of follow through often springs from the wound of, “if I don’t do it perfectly then I shouldn’t even try”.  This is a wound of patriarchy with its belief in the mind idea of perfection as some absolute of worldly accomplishment.  So Wound Healing again is going to be helpful!  And really, I would like to have everyone on Earth take The Sacred Feminine.

I love the work of Marion Woodman, a Canadian Jungian therapist who worked with women with eating disorders decades before anyone else did. She came to a complete place of knowing THE BODY IS DIVINE. She understood that when we live in this experience, all our choices are different, specifically how we treat self and our greater self of the planet and all its inhabitants. She understood that the Sacred Feminine within us WILL take us to this place of being and truly transform the world.

Q: Suggestions for The “Drama Queen” (melodramatic) mentality & behavior

A: Cosmos, Grounding, Common Knapweed and the others mentioned for patriarchal wounds would be helpful-  Drama Queens do not feel heard. This gets resolved as patriarchal wounds get healed, because then we feel contained and valued by ourselves.

Q: Suggestions for Victim mentality “poor me”, “such and such did this horrible thing to me/said this horrible thing to me” “I NEVER get this or that” I ALWAYS miss out (etc!)

A: Queen Anne’s Lace and Dill help lift us out of our reptilian brain up into the top of our skull where we process events differently. Grape Essence is excellent for Sour Grapes. Most importantly, the ones for patriarchal wound healing are so important here, because this victim mentality comes out of an illusion of powerlessness which is one of the wounds of patriarchy.

I want to close by thanking the beloved woman down-under who asked these great questions and all of you who engage us with your interesting questions and insights. We learn so much from these conversations! Much Love and Thanks to you all.