Reginald Montgomery “Chuckie” Hogbottom, Order of the Woodchuck, Recipient of the medal of honor “Marmota Monax” September 2019, Groundhog Knight of the Realm, May 2022, and Recipient of the Order of the Garter July 2023 here. Sending my greetings to all of you groundhog kin who attended the great Tomatopalooza of July 31st.
Wasn’t that a night to remember?
To recap for those of you who missed the Love Fest. After taking down the vegetable gardens to the point where there was nothing but some sad little tufts of shredded lettuce, it was time to find better pastures. And boy did we find one! Once again all credit to the deluded human with her ridiculously lavish care of her hoop house of tomato plants. Didn’t she know we can break into anything? Didn’t she remember we LOVE green tomatoes?
Some highlights from Tomatopalooza2025 (registered trademark). ( Note to cousin Millicent: Can’t you get on it and get us some t-shirts? This event was t-shirt worthy).
First, I would like to pat myself on my plump and furry back about my media posts on FB, insta, tik tok and X. What a lively crowd these posts brought to the farm. It was a delight to see so many of you gathered for the assault.
Second, a little more congratulations are in order. We did a sublime job clearing the entire hoop house of every single tomato. I checked back the night after the festivities, and there was nary a red, orange or green tomato left. I am confident we took down at least a couple hundred tomatoes! Good work!
Third, I would like to address a delicate matter concerning groundhog manners. Some of you did not live up to our clean plate club standards but left half eaten tomatoes in a trail out of the hoop house. Please next time, remember that there are plenty of us to eat every last tomato and no need to waste a morsel of garden goodness.
I also want to reassure you that talk of a serious fence around the vegetable garden seems to be hot air. The person who promised to be there by July? No sign of him or his equipment. We can only hope that he “runs behind” (whatever that is) well into the next season too. In any case, I haven’t met a fence we couldn’t handle.
We do have some dramatic news to report. During Tomatopalooza you may have met one of the farm kingpins, my Uncle Bertram. He lives under the farmhouse deck just a few feet from the farm’s back door.
Last week he had an unfortunate run in with visiting dog Huckleberry, the grandpuppy of the farm humans. Huck got into a bit of a tussle with Bertram in the main perennial bed and took out a good bit of the garden’s Flowers. Not to worry! Bertram escaped and as for the damage to the gardens? We don’t really care that the destruction of so many Flowers leaves less for the deer to eat.
So here we are. August 6th and the whole community of us is fat and happy. I raise my glass to our wondrous season of plunder and delight. How we have savored the Swiss Chard, vast collection of Lettuce varieties, Chiogga and Detroit Dark Red Beets and their greens, Celery, Celeriac, many kinds of Shelling and Sugar Snap Peas, Hakurei Turnips, Cucumbers both the pickling and slicing kinds, Zucchini, Summer Squash, Borage, Nasturtiums, Italian Green Beans not to mention yellow, green and purple green beans, baby Pumpkins and most of all the bounty of 64 tomato plants. Such good work team. I am already looking forward to next season!