In Which We Discuss the Toilet

Here’s to Lynn Tidman, Teddy Grobe, Susan Dam, Lauren Sherman, Adrienne Cedeno, Sarah Ireland, Ashley Dwinell, Liz Taylor, Jayn Bier, Catherine Barritt, David Jonas, Catherine Boorady, Cindy Brady, Pat Laurin, Kathy Skolem, Deborah Cardew, Sophie Cardew, Patricia Wiltse, Yessenia Araya-Mesen, Vicki Ramos-Glew, Masaki Schuette, Jane Taupier, Jessica Miller, Katherine Bernier, Olivia Fauver, Lauren Lenz, Thembi Muhlauri, Sarah Callaway, Caitlin Glasgo and all the Sheehans who have been and/or continue to be Green Hope Farm Staff Gods and Goddesses!

While there are millions of things I thank each and every one of you for and so many gifts, talents, insights, humorous world views and general sass that I am grateful that you brought to Green Hope Farm….. today I focus on your patience with the Green Hope Farm bathroom….

So here is an official shout out to you, honoring the fact that you put up with a small miniature substandard windowless pit the worst bathroom in North America- some of you for a brief flurry of months but some of you (and you know who you are, dear ones!) for MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS!

Q: How bad was this bathroom?
A: It was so small I frequently thought I was going to crack my teeth on the sink when rising from the toilet. It was so small that not even the smallest bathroom throw rug fit the space. It was so small that it needed a half sized door of just over two feet wide for entering and exiting.

Q: Why on earth was this bathroom so small?
A: When we built this house, I appeared to think that my children would always be in diapers and never need an actual toilet.

Q: Didn’t you think that you might have guests in your home?
A: Apparently I expected only hobbits.

Q: What was the least pleasant thing about this bathroom?
A: It was smack dab in the middle of the house but had absolutely no sound proofing. Anyone in the living room or kitchen could hear way too much. You could recognize the Green Hope Farm old salts because when there were other people in the living room or kitchen, they knew enough to run the water when using the facility ( and I use the word facility lightly- it was the kind of bathroom that made an outhouse seem appealing).

Q: How did you try and make this bathroom a better place?
A: We made an enormous wall sized collage of your cards so that while there was really no way to use the bathroom, it was always an artistically inspiring and colorful ordeal.

Q: What made you decide to do something about this bathroom problem child travesty of a space?
We realized we could take a portion of our living room and make it a bathroom entered from the Green Hope Farm bottling room and simply rip out the existing bathroom.

Q: How’s the project going?
A: This time round, hind sight being literally hind sight and of course 20/20, there has been more of a focus on the fact that people need bathrooms and perhaps deserve not to have the entire office hear all about it.


Yes, it really was smaller than a coat closet.

All gone!
New toilet about to be set in place by Jay this morning. Jay Waldner is the wonderful carpenter/craftsman who framed our house in 1987. The past few weeks, he has had the pleasure of undoing his own work, ripping out the original “bathroom” he framed out for us when we were young and green in judgement.

I am particularly grateful for Jay’s presence right now as it represents the first time since Jay left us that Jim has been willing to have help with a project!

Upgrades include:
Big window with view of beehives, oak, pines and lilacs.
Real sized mirror replacing tiny antique one that was heavy on charm and light on function.
Crap industrial tiles replaced by real ones.
Sound proofing.
Space large enough for humans.

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