The Losing Game

With all the world focused on the Winning Game right now, it seems an apt time to focus on the Losing Game, the superior game that most of us play a lot more than the Winning Game.


WHEN TO PLAY? The Losing Game is there to play whenever our hopes and expectations meet up with what actually happens. This means we can play it 24/7.

WHY PLAY? Not that we have any choice, but I don’t think it is just sour grapes to say that the Losing Game is a much better game than the Winning Game. Not only is it a lot more difficult than the Winning Game, but each moment we play the Losing Game gives us gifts that nothing can take away from us.

FURTHER BENEFITS OF PLAY: While the Winning Game gives only the gift of winning, the rewards of the Losing Game are countless AND there is always another round in the offing no matter our age or fitness level or whether it is an Olympic year.

TECHNIQUES OF THE GAME: The Losing Game calls us not to be a sore loser but a graceful one. When things don’t go the way of our hopes and dreams the Losing Game calls us to practice letting go and accepting what is. Not to grow bitter in the face of our disappointments and losses is a great victory in the Losing Game. To remain poised as things are stripped from us requires immense inner strength.

SKILL DEVELOPMENT: Skills are acquired as we experience each loss or disappointment with as much grace, acceptance and humor as possible. No worries when we belly flop in our execution of grace and acceptance. The flop in itself brings new opportunities for skill development.

HOW DO WE WIN THE LOSING GAME? To master the Losing Game is to come to a place of no expectation of how things should turn out. I can only imagine this territory, but consider this- if our desires to have things go the way we want abate entirely we are entirely free to love what is. Yes, we can start off with beautiful dreams and go for them, but to see them play out however they do with detachment is the real accomplishment.

HOW FB FITS IN: The Losing Game isn’t only about events swirling down the toilet, though it can feel this way. How wonderful that there is beauty and humor to celebrate during the game and post of FB.

HOW DO WE KNOW HOW WE ARE DOING IN THE LOSING GAME? The Losing Game gives us immediate feedback. Pretty much any expectation of outcome is a sign of work to be done. Uncontrollable laughter and good cheer amidst gnarly circumstances; these are the symptoms of the game going exceptionally well.

TOOLS No tools needed. This game is easy to begin just hard to master. Events in the Losing Game present themselves every day, and if we are on Earth, we have shown up at the starting blocks. One Flower Essence tool we’ve been leaning on here as we play the game is last summer’s new Venus Garden Essence, Love It and Leave It. It was made to support us to play the Losing Game.

CHALLENGES OF THE LOSING GAME No one gives us much credit for the moments when we play the game well. By its nature, when we have been self effacing and graciously lost, no one notices. When we restrain ourselves from yelling about fairness or outcomes, not a peep from the crowd. The Losing Game is an inner game. No Olympic medals. Rewards are yours independent of media attention.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF LOSING GAME When we don’t push for any outcome, we are free to love whatever unfolds. This emptiness of expectation opens us to immense love for creation and the creator, the only thing worth filling ourselves with.