Well Hidden Crocodiles

I am my own best customer. The focus of the Flower Essence mixes and the very Flowers that I am drawn to have at least a passing connection and usually a very strong connection to what I am trying to learn. When I felt drawn to make a Flower Essence from a new Flower friend, it is almost always because I have something to learn from this Flower and it’s time for that lesson.

This is consistent with everything I know about Flower Essences in general. Each of our electrical systems recognizes its own dilemmas and snafus and seeks solutions. Flowers have solved a lot of electrical difficulties on their way to evolving into masters of their environment. Therefore Flowers and their Essences hold a lot of problem solving skills. Our electrical systems recognize this and welcome Flower Essences with “open arms”.

Today I am thinking about things I am meant to control (my attitude) and things I am not meant to control (pretty much everything else).

Most Flowers flourish in less than ideal conditions . Many flourish in extremely challenging inhospitable conditions. Flowers Essences holding the electrical data of these Flowers thriving in less than ideal conditions are of great value to us. They offer us ways to thrive in difficult circumstances when things aren’t going our way. They help us accept what is not ours to change and bloom with abandon even when we can’t get what we think we need. The Flowers know how to bloom without enough topsoil, without enough rain, without enough sunlight. They have adapted gracefully to less than ideal conditions and are happy to share with us how they did it via the wisdom of their Flower Essences.

This is a lot more helpful data for us than, say a book that promises if we think positively, only positive things will happen to us. Last time I checked, I was only in charge of my own attitude and had limited control on what the rest of the universe did. There is so much energy involved when we try to control something we really are not meant to be in control of, say the movement of the stars or the social choices a best friend makes. Some of the recent mixes I have been working on like Carry Less are really to help me see the areas where I am trying to control something that isn’t mine to control. Come to think of it, many of the earlier mixes were for this too.

My eldest daughter Lizzy finished up her work in Bennington, VT and after a month dancing in NYC came home to decide on her next move. This was a time in which I needed a lot of support from Carry Less and Flow Free to remind me moment to moment that Lizzy’s next move was Lizzy’s decision, not mine. There are probably a lot of people for whom this balance of support without any opinions would come more naturally, but for me it has been a learning curve to try to be present without an agenda.

My role models for being present without an agenda were not good. I had a famous, powerful, and charismatic grandfather who felt very comfortable redirecting a person’s life completely, even after a short acquaintance of only a brief few minutes. I have heard dozens and dozens of people tell me some variation on, ” I wanted to be an airline pilot, but after a conversation with your grandfather I decided to be a Geology professor instead.” Longer exposure to the man only meant more iron fisted direction.

I hated being micro managed by someone who confused himself with a deity. I went into my own adult life swimming in this bossy gene pool and needing role models for doing something other than bossing myself and other people around. My efforts to find a new way explain my attraction to Black Currant and Bloodroot and my years of focused work with the family river trio of Black Currant, Bloodroot, and Borage Flower Essences. This also explains why I wrote a two hundred page Guidebook without specific directions for using Flower Essences so as to encourage you to be your own guide with Flower Essences.

Ongoing efforts to find a way to be a loving presence, not a controlling presence, led to All Ego Contracts Null & Void in addition to the family river trio. So many Essences helped to continue the excavation and release of bossy tendencies. The Carry Less continues this tradition with its focus to help root out and release opinions, both those continuing to drive me nuts because they have hung around way after the party is over and those opinions that are nearly invisible, like a crocodile on a river.

As Lizzy launched the next part of her life I had to wrestle with some well hidden crocodiles. For example, I realized my ideas about what it was like being in my twenties during the 1980’s were not truths about being in your twenties now. I had biases about chronologies and priorities and even, let it be said, geographies. I tried to let go of all ideas that I knew best about anything that was to be in her life.

When Lizzy said she was moving to Seattle, a city nearly three thousand miles from here, I felt an enormous weight fall off my back, a big mother crocodile. My heart knew this was such a wise, heart felt decision on her part. I could stand up tall, let the crocodile of opinions fall away from me, and give her a big hug of encouragement. It felt good to carry less, even as I knew how much I would miss her.

Another part of my family, my maternal grandmother’s side, was from Seattle. Going to Seattle was a going forward into the unknown for Lizzy, but for me it was a little bit of grace from the part of my family that had been all but silenced by the flashy overwhelming dynamics of my famous maternal grandfather. In the bewildering and oppressive terrain of my childhood, my maternal grandmother had been a shining light. Despite her own struggle with this oppressive situation, she lifted her head from her own difficulties to let me know she loved me. She did not ask me to be something else than I was, like everyone else in my family, but simply enjoyed me for who I was. No small gift. I credit my grandmother’s love with helping me get to the point where I could begin to create my own life on my own terms, away from the controlling opinions of my family.

As Lizzy got ready to go to Seattle I found myself asking my grandmother to be there for Lizzy as she began a new life in Seattle. Despite my grandmother’s challenging situation, she had a knack for fun. I hoped she and her joie de vivre would be with Lizzy.

In one of those lovely synchronicities of life, as I kissed Lizzy goodbye at the airport, through my tears, I saw a sign over my shoulder that read Milltown grill. Milltown is what my grandmother called me. I knew Grandma was on the job.

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