A friend told me about a dream she had last night in which every relative in her life came to visit. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandparents, cousins, siblings and parents were all looking for beds in her home which abruptly turned into the home of her great grandfather. In the dream she was trying unsuccessfully to appease the demands of this hoard of family.

Holidays can feel like that, even if we find ourselves alone. Holidays bring up old family business, and sometimes it can feel overwhelming to process all the material surfacing.

Ours was a holiday stretch almost devoid of traditions, company, big family meals or any activities from years past. My dear husband had vertigo, and that kept things simple. Yet even as our holidays were very quiet, I too felt my house was occasionally invaded by unexpected guests. Big personalities in my family of origin stamped holiday activities with their mark and insisted on how even the smallest details of the holidays should be done. So even as these traditions are gone from my life, old opinions of “the right way to do things” occasionally rear their ugly heads.

I have spent decades sweeping these old chestnuts from my life, but housekeeping remains necessary, especially as I run into the same dogma coming from new directions.

And why am I surprised that the same dubious holiday ideas have sprung up like mushrooms again? One has only to turn on the TV for ten minutes to see the collective brainwashing we all endure this time of year. It’s no wonder a dismantling has to be done again each and every year. After all, the cultural pressures to conform to holiday dogma assaults us from Halloween onwards.

Thank goodness for Flower Essences. Here are a few that were in my holiday spritz bottle that might free up more inner and outer space in our lives if we use them in January and beyond!

The Family River Trio is a threesome of Flower Essences that helps us clear out old family baggage so we are unburdened. The Black Currant in the trio helps us release many generations of counter productive habits, opinions, traditions and anything else that is stuck or obscuring truth or not serving our light. The Bloodroot reveals the core strengths of our family line, because underneath all the mistaken ideas there is always something of value. The third member of the trio is Borage for courage to do the work. To sort and discard is tough. It is ultimately freeing, but it can be exhausting.

This time of year there are so many voices in our heads and all around us telling an old story about how things should be done. I appreciated the back up of my Flower Essence spritzer bottle to support me in what felt like saner choices. For example, we had a Christmas without the giving and receiving of presents. This felt like a big relief. However I needed to be vigilant about the occasional voice encouraging guilt that I had let go of this tradition so central to my childhood. Hyssop helped with the guilt. And Flow Free helped the Family River Trio with the whole letting go process. Flow Free remains an essential ally, here amplifying my efforts to be free of old holiday shoulds.

My mix had many other Flower Essence friends in it, but I think I will stop there as these seem most centrally supportive to the work of finding inner freedom from the cultural demands of the holidays.

PS When I went to ask the Angels and Elementals if they wanted me to add anything else they asked me to mention one other Flower Essence in my mix: Don’t Worry-Bee Happy. They have been talking a lot to me about how worry does such damage to the tranquility of our inner self and never accomplishes anything. They note, “The cultural pressures about the holidays leave everyone worried they are not doing enough, and we want to say to you, let go of your worries, you are always enough.”