Truck meets Sacred Feminine

Not much happens here at the farm without me considering the significance of the event in a larger way. This sounds rather grandiose, but paying attention to small moments on the farm is the way I connect to a greater world. I may very well get the symbolism of events wrong, but this doesn’t stop me from observing the gardens closely and pondering all that happens. Noticing these precious small moments of beauty and challenge brings me joy and help me harvest bigger picture realizations.

Perhaps I would have found this focus on nature no matter what, but I credit my sixth grade teacher for igniting this fire of observation. He had each of his students make an insect collection of 50 different species, identified and properly mounted. It was a long involved project that saw me and my classmates running through fields and forest with nets and collecting jars, looking closely at every tiny thing.

I don’t think I could bring myself to kill any insects now (except when swatting black flies), but ironically this love for all life was vastly increased by this assignment. In many ways it changed my life. After that spring chasing bugs, insects and other small creatures of the world became more precious to me. This science project may well have brought me to Flowers too, because Flowers and insects are seamlessly connected one to the other.

Once I started looking and listening carefully, it was hard to miss that the world talks to us ALL THE TIME. Even when I don’t understand, I know that every tiny event in the garden holds significance.

Which brings me to Monday morning at 7 am. Expecting a large contingent of staffers, Lizzie went out to move the various farm vehicles from the upper staff parking lot down towards the house to make room for the staff cars. I was heading for the gardens when I saw our red pick-up truck wildly careening down the driveway, plowing through stonewalls to stop at last in our ornamental pond out front of the office.

The brakes on the truck failed and Lizzie was unable to stop the truck’s charge into the pond. By the grace of Divinity, Lizzie was safe. This was a miracle that filled our hearts as we considered how easily this brake failure could have happened with one of us going down our steep hill or on a highway with other traffic. No one was hurt. Even the polliwogs were still swimming around the submerged wheel.

In the wake of the truck’s path, garden pots lay smashed, stonewalls were leveled, the welcome arch covered in Hops was flattened to the ground and the truck found itself jauntily perched in the pond. Oddly enough the pond’s fountain was unscathed. We enjoyed its saucy burble as we noiselessly surveyed the scene.

When the tow truck guy arrived to pull “Old Red” out of the pond, he took a lot of pictures to show the folks back at the dispatchers. This was not the usual tow job. Slowly, slowly he pulled out the truck as we watched to see what the damage would occur on the reverse path.

When the dust settled, we discovered the ornamental pond, fiberglass in structure, had a repairable crack. The cedar arch was history. Almost at once, I began to replant the surviving plants and consider what new structure to create for the languishing Hops.

For someone who looks for significance in a slug invasion, raucous crows or a Bindweed problem, this moment gave me a lot to consider. Here are some of my initial thoughts.

Hops is all about spiritual growth. For some reason, ours needs a new support. What will this be? Big picture, little picture things are falling away and new ways of being in the world and seeking the Light are coming into form. And some of these new ways will arrive in dramatic and unexpected ways in terrain we thought was just fine as it was. After all, that arch seemed perfectly good to me, and never did I imagine the truck would need to plunge through this garden for a visit to the pond.

I have always called this garden the Entrance Garden as it welcomes those going to the office and those going into the farmhouse. It feels important to step up the energy of welcome. The old arch was two cedar posts with a cedar post across the top. It had a heavy, grounded feel to it. After checking in with the Angels and Elementals, they had me move an existing more delicate but actually stronger arbor up from the Rose Garden area for a new welcome arch. This was made for us many years ago by a local welder. It is round and very tall with hearts welded into the design. When its settled in place I’ll post a photo. Because of its immense size, we joked that it looks like we are expecting guests from Mt Olympus. Who knows?

Around the original arch lived a cluster of planters. As I put new planters out and began to replant them, I chose plants I had never grown here before that I know nothing about. It’s time for us to welcome the new, and not what we imagine the new to be. I think for all of us everywhere, it is going to be better than anything we can imagine.

I replanted using shards of pottery from the broken pots in the bottom of the new pots. If some old structures survive all the change occurring, these old structures will be used in new ways. They’ll serve the new evolved creations coming in but not be in charge anymore.

And then there was the pond itself and the fact that this body of water had stopped the truck. We built this pool as a representation of the Sacred Feminine. The Sacred Feminine is the deep pool of inner wisdom and intuition within each of us, ever there to guide us towards a path of unity consciousness and light.

Our version of this sacred well of feminine intuition and deep wisdom is what stopped an out of control and very solid truck. This gives me hope that all the out of control destructive energies of this time will meet their match and be stopped by the rising energies of the Sacred Feminine awakening in every one of us. This event leaves me not only with hope but with confidence. It shall be so!

PS A week or so later:

I love all you’ve shared about what you make of this event. One beloved GHF friend said, “Wow, what an amazing happening, and I love what it symbolizes! The male patriarchal energy does seem out of control in the world, but there is the divine feminine that will ultimately transform it.” Another beloved said, “As far as the Lily Pond- deep emotions, feminine, flow, no wood which in Chinese medicine feeds fire which is anger. No stone, the keepers of knowledge and history, stopping this so old history cannot stop new from coming in.”

Keep those insights coming! We’re in this together and not alone!

Gardener’s Joy

To imagine me this last month, think of every stereotype of a gardener of a certain age and you have the visual- Straw hat smushed down on my head, garden pants more dirt than canvas, black flies swirling around my head and my feet moving as fast as possible as I tear through the gardens with a wheelbarrow loaded with clippers, twine, compost, soil amendments, shovels, stakes and flats of transplants.

May (and now June) are a blur for a gardener like me. So many things to get done in a short amount of time. But the work environment couldn’t be better (except for the black flies). There is so much beauty to savor on trips to the compost heap or doing any one of the many splendid happy jobs of May in a garden. It’s glorious to just stand there and soak in the gardens around me.

Here are a photos of some of what I have been enjoying. I hope there have been Flowers (or the equivalent bliss) in your life this month too.

Tree Peonies are spectacular residents of our May garden.
They even look good when they are going by and looking a bit blousy. In the background you can see our Yellow Rose of Texas and some Rhubarb Flowers.
This Tree Peony is such a gorgeous color.
I don’t have a knack for Bearded Iris. I plant them then they disappear from the garden in short order. This one, so prim and reserved, looks like it is considering whether it wants to stay or go.
This Bearded Iris is the only variety that seems content to stay here. It doesn’t seem to mind blooming in amongst the Woad.
Here is Mary Queen of Scots Rose, making a strong statement like her namesake.
White Bleeding Heart with the first Day Lilies in the background.

Tune Up ’21- a New Mix for You!

Hello dear friends!

I love May! Beautiful zesty, lush, green, beflowered, expansive May!

Today is May 5th   It’s rainy and gray with the gardens drinking in every last raindrop with palpable delight. Even as Flowers keep their heads down in the downpour, the gardens look poised to soar into wonder and magic the moment the sun returns. Everything sings, “Yahooooo!”

Amidst this magic clamor of new life, the Angels and Elementals nudged me to make a new mix! Last night it was ready. Today it’s on the shelves available to go off to you……and what a dynamo!

Noting that this has been a confusing and disorganizing time for one and all, the Angels and Elementals created this mix to help us re-align all our systems. In addition to support for re-alignment, they said this mix was to help reorganize any system currently in knots or going in disharmonious directions. Additionally it is to help re-invigorate and restore optimum vibrational harmony by both moving out of our electrical fields whatever needs to go and grounding higher healing vibrations.  

The Angels and Elementals explained that no matter the physical, emotional, mental or spiritual challenges we face right now, this mix will help us find our most harmonious, empowered, clear, aligned and balanced self. 

To sum up, the Angels and Elementals are undaunted by this time’s challenges and with complete confidence offer a remedy that will bring light into even the most complex situation.

These are big confident statements, but as you will see from the ingredient list below, the confidence is more than backed up by the Flower Essences composing this mix.   The energy of the mix is a very big  WOW! This one is like Flower Essence Drano capable of handling ANY clog in the system! And it’s not destructive but constructive a.k.a. less is more. We empty out to see the Light we always were. I felt more whole just mixing it up!

The Angels gave the mix the name Tune Up ’21.

They encouraged me to clarify that this mix is for EVERYONE, regardless of what has happened to you in the last few years.  If there are some members of your household that have suffered more than others, it will help them if everyone uses the mix as it’s easier to rise up together than separately.

Spritzing the mix is a brilliant way to share the wealth. My household sees me coming at them night and day with the various spritz bottles! 

The first person I handed a bottle of tune Up ‘21 to felt full body shivers for several minutes. Then….. what a smile! May you too feel the love!

Here are the ingredients given in the order received with insight provided by Angels and Elementals.

Sunflower– YOU ARE SUPER HEROES! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. Let us show you the pattern of your perfection.

Pine– Cooling respite beyond battle. We hold you.

Birch– We peel back and remove what needs to be removed. We do so with calm so you can remain in calm. We get to the bottom of things with you. (Additional Flower Essence list page 46)

Meadowsweet– YOU ARE LOVED. We bath you in sweet love. We soothe overfiring circuitry. We help you rest in love.

St John’s Wort– We are the very best fire fighters.  We help you keep the sunshine and shed the burn.

Cardinal Flower– We help you in the seriousness of your healing intention. We uplift you in your dedication and focus. We help you release energies that mislead. No more hair shirts.

Yellow Mullein– YES YOU CAN DO IT. Stand in this knowing without fear. You can and will do it.

Oregano– If it doesn’t belong within you, it’s got to go. Only true self and source. We help you clean house. (Additional Flower Essence list page 23)

Raspberry– Total harmony. Aligned with Divine energy, only light exists. (Additional Flower Essence list page 25)

Tansy– We blast away any misplaced energy no matter how long it’s been clinging to you. We support your freedom and sanctity. (Additional Flower Essence list page 28)

Lion’s Ear– Wise elders gather with this Essence to give you bespoke healing support. A gift beyond measure.

Yerba Mate– We re- map cell patterns after illness or challenge. We bring immense protective energy.

Corn– The deep perfection of energy organized by Light.  This downloading is the wisdom of the ancients. It takes you forward in community of unity consciousness.

Osteospermum– If betrayal has been a part of your journey, we help you experience your wholeness on the other side.

Willow– The immense gift of flexibility makes all things possible. (Additional Flower Essence list page 30)

Purple Queen Snap Bean– Harmonious shifts. Dissolving the impediments of self judgement. (Additional Flower Essence list page 30)

All our Marigolds including French Marigold– As masters of love, gratitude and harmonious mutation, we take you across the threshold to spiritual freedom and liberation.

Fragrant Ladies Tresses– We help you let go and let grace prevail.

Angelica– Indivisibility with the Divine. Spiritual freedom. Wound healing. Never underestimate how many Angels love you.

Borage– Happiness is yours for the taking.

Mehera– Because the destination is the source.

Jade– It’s a wild woolly ride but green energy is with you and that makes all the difference.

Last thoughts from the Angels and Elementals? “Let us help you! And remember, our shared Divinity has this! It’s going to be okay.”

Go Day?

When musing with another gardener a few years ago, this gardener mentioned his concept of “Go Day,” that spring day when suddenly the afterburners get ignited in the garden and it is time for us gardeners to well….go Go GO!

At that time, it seemed an apt description for how our seasons turn abruptly from wintry conditions to full tilt spring and in response, there is suddenly a list a mile long of urgent jobs to do in the gardens.

Lately however, it is hard to figure out which day is “Go Day.” Already this spring we have had some excellent candidates for “Go Day.” On these glorious mornings when I thought it was Go Day, I joyfully plunged my hands in the dirt to plant early crops like peas and beets. I approached the removal of the Rose suckers with enthusiasm, maybe too much as I then had an evening of pulling tiny rose thorns from my fingers. But still it was bliss.

However, these early Go Day candidates fell short of the mark. Instead of heralding warmer days, each of these 70 degree humdingers were followed by a string of glowering days of bitter cold punctuated by snowstorms.

Which brings us to our storm on Thursday night which dumped a good five inches of heavy snow on the farm.

the beginning of the storm

An old timer I ran into ( this person being almost a peer of mine as I have now been here 40 plus years myself), said, “Well this IS Northern New England after all, and this is just the way spring is.” I admired his philosophical point of view. However I haven’t changed all that much since my blog last week about my lack of patience in the garden. So for me, I went from savoring the weeding to resentfully watching snow fall. And now lingering cold has left me wistfully indoors looking at the five inches of snow on the ground that has stuck around for four days instead of agreeably melting right away as most spring snow does.

I’ve tried to go with this flow and do inside spring chores like tucking away winter clothes. Only, I still need the sweaters. Even the heavy ones.

So here I sit, wearing my favorite Irish sweater AND a winter coat while feeding the wood stove. There is nothing quite like filling the woodbox in April. Bikes and other accoutrements of spring block the way to the woodpile and I trip and crash, clutching what I keep hoping is my last load of logs to haul into the house for the season.

As I crash dash to and fro the woodpile, I try not to look to the Arbor Garden. I don’t really want to see the fate of the Daffodils. I am certain the glory of last weeks’ display is toast. When the snow does melt, I hope I will be able to pick bunches of broken Daffodils to fill the office with spring cheer. But who knows? This snow has smushed everything for a long time.

Shrubs and trees encircling the Arbor Garden and all our perennial beds were budded out. Some even had young leaves. This means many limbs are drooping from snow caught in the young foliage. This kind of storm often means we have to cut back shrubs because they don’t pop back into their vertical positions again. Nothing like starting the season by butchering the Flowering shrubs.

Okay, I had to go get more wood so I took a gander at the damage. It’s still a little early to tell but the fate of the Daffodils looks bleak. Other plants like the Hellebores, also known as Winter Rose, seem like they may well rise up and resuming their business of blooming. Time will tell.

I can also hear the drip of melting snow so perhaps in a day or two I will be out there again in a snowless garden tackling things like the crab grass. It would be great if I loved crab grass because nothing stops its roll. Not snow or ice or cold. But I prefer Flowers. That’s my story and I am sticking to it. Loving Flowers means more tears than loving crab grass, but it means more joy too. The Daffodils and I still have the beauty of last week before the agony of the storm. I hope they feel it was worth it. I do.

Helping our Inner Child in these times

I know the dust hasn’t settled yet.  Astrologer Pam Gregory describes life on Earth right now as living in a demolition zone. So yes, maybe clarity is not available yet as the air is still full of demolition dust.  However, some things I believed were true feel incredibly MORE true after this last year.  One belief underscored and highlighted for me is that we need each other.

Another thing I have certainly noticed is that issues I thought were done and dusted have come up again for another round of healing. Today I thought I would specifically write about Inner Child work.  We brought our Inner Child combination Flower Essence out decades ago. I worked with this Essence a lot then and did much healing around the experiences of my inner child in her challenging childhood.  This year with so many things going in different directions than planned and with so much change, little Molly has been in need of a lot of love, reassurance and Inner Child too.

While I have worked to make peace with what I went through as a child, this doesn’t mean that little Molly within me isn’t still affected by what happened.  She still has a strong tendency to drive current situations from the framework of childhood events.  She needs my grownup perspective and the reminder, among other things, that no matter what is going on, she is safe and won’t be abandoned. 

Abandonment is a big issue with my inner child for a number of reasons. One reason is that when I was four, my little sister who was mentally challenged disappeared from our home forever to rarely be mentioned again.  While to the adults this was no doubt a heart wrenching decision in an era when people thought it best to do this and then not talk about it ever again, to me it was a terrifying existential threat that if I wasn’t perfectly behaved I too would be sent away forever.

To prevent being sent away, I took on the roles in my family of origin of cheerleader, ever present sunshine, hardest worker ever, model student, and an overall well behaved, cheerful and polite child who was never a bother to anyone.  I tried to take care of everything by myself.  If you’ve been reading this blog for a long time, you may remember that when I broke my left arm as an adult, the first thing the orthopedic surgeon said to me was that I had broken this arm as a child, and it had not been set.  Little Molly had “taken care” of a broken arm all by herself.

I am spending more time thanking little Molly for how her efforts in childhood and throughout my life have made such a difference.  I don’t think I would have survived my childhood without her indomitable spirit.  Little Molly was also key to creating Green Hope Farm and everything we’ve done here. She hauled six thousand loads of compost and made over a thousand Flower Essences for us.  She got us out in the world to share what we we’re doing here.  She can and did move mountains.

This pandemic year has no doubt been stressful to all our inner children. Nothing like being in an out of control situation to remind us of when we were children with little control over our daily life circumstances. When I found myself without staff for a number of months, little Molly kicked into high gear and got all the work done. Just like she always had. When I needed to work from dawn ’til way past dusk, she kept going.  She was heroic but also trapped within the rules of engagement from a childhood in which she had no choice but do it all by herself. While adult Molly is aware of the constant support of Divinity, little Molly remembers a childhood in which the stand ins for Divinity ie my parents were either not there or there in a negative way. Stress can trigger adult Molly into going back into little Molly patterns of feeling abandoned to do it all alone. 

Among other things this year has been about helping a more integrated self let go more deeply of this, “I have to do everything all by myself” mindset. Together we have let go of many of the roles that little Molly thought we had to fill. By necessity, little Molly had no sense of balance and now I, adult Molly, am working to help her have that.  It’s time for more rest and play.

So how did this need for a better balance of work and play become so clear?  Last summer as I struggled to fill the shoes of many missing staff Goddesses, I got very sick with a kidney infection.  As the months flowed on, and the infection lingered, I found myself needing more staff than ever.  We were busier than ever, and I just couldn’t keep the pace of old.  Mercifully events (no doubt orchestrated by Divinity) conspired to help me let go of the roles I had played in the daily operations of the office for three decades.

For example, wonderful summer staff Goddess Anna, a college student on break, found herself spending her sophomore year in college in our office instead of at school. With Anna there and the return of our other staff as childcare and schooling got sorted out, I was needed less in the office.

Another part of it was that even with masks on, we couldn’t socially distance with me in the office along with all the other returning staff. At first this meant I did my jobs at night or on the weekends but then the amazing staff Goddesses, Vicki, Jen, Sam, Anna and Lizzie stepped up more and more, and I began to let go of this night work. 

Slowly with lurches and stumbles I let go of what my role had been for so long and went into a place that felt like a bit of a void to little Molly.  How was she safe if she wasn’t working 24/7?  To adult Molly it felt right to let go of daily operations and focus on the gardens and making the Flower Essences as my work.  In fact, I began to wonder more and more how on earth I had done all that I had been doing because the gardens and the Essences filled my days. Then I would remember, “Oh right, little Molly did it.”

This shift felt really good to adult me.  I felt great excitement as the younger generations here began to express their visions and insights into how to do things and where to go next.  Our first collaborative project within this new framework was the Path of Light trio which was a wonderful co-creation coming out of what the younger generation saw as what you all were asking for linked into how the Angels and Elementals here wanted to answer that request. 

Little Molly was more in a panic.  Was this safe? Was she doing enough? What was she if she let go of the work habits of 60 years? The Angels would talk to little Molly all day reassuring her and helping her let go.  As you may recall, I broke both my arms into dozens of pieces when I needed to let go of my family of origin so letting go of my baby GHF in the way I had always held her was very big for little Molly and for big Molly too.

This is where other people came in.  The staff Goddesses have been so loving about my letting go process.  We’ve laughed as well as cried which is saying something during a pandemic!  Additionally, I looked to a wise healer I have worked with at pivotal times over the years, and she was so helpful to me.  It’s been so deeply healing to let go and get her healing help and her wise perspective on the process I am going through.  Among a lot of other things, she was the one who called me back to working with little Molly through this transition. This has helped little Molly to feel safe, loved and appreciated. Little Molly has begun to know it is enough to just enjoy life with adult Molly.

I asked this healer, Kathy Skolem for permission to mention her here.  I also asked her for a description of her work and this is what she said.

“Kathy is an intuitive whose knowledge of anatomy and physiology and a deep understanding of the body mind connection offers a foundational approach to the many facets of healing. With 29 years in practice and her studies, Kathy brings her skills as a sensitive together with science. She is a facilitator and a teacher, empowering her clients to grow from those life experiences that have taken away their joy, inner peace, and their sense of well being, offering the opportunity for them to bring balance and flow back into their lives. 

Kathy has worked in the field of energy studies for 29 years. She is a certified Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapist, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, an APP Polarity Therapist, has taken an apprenticeship class in Plant Spirit Healing with Pam Montgomery, is a graduate of the Robert T Jaffe School of Energy Mastery, and served as an assistant staff member at the School of Conscious Healing in Sedona, Arizona. She has taught classes in the mind/body connection and creative visualization She has continued her studies with the online courses in neurobiology from the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine. Her educational journey started with a Reiki and a national certification in massage therapy.”

These are the things I would like to add.  I’ve worked with Kathy for 25 years.  She was an amazing healer from the first. All she has studied since then has deepened her gifts.  She loves Flower Essences and also has a deep connection with plant medicine. She worked at the farm in the early years and was key to the co-creation of the incomparable Alignment Garden Essence.  She has so much fairy energy and really gets me laughing. She works with animals as well as people and has extensive experience with horses.  I have had some very memorable healing sessions with her that helped me incredibly.  The work we have done lately has been layered with work on healing my physical vehicle from what it has been through of late and also this key work of setting little Molly free to know it is enough for her to just be with me.  Kathy does great work on the phone. Call her at 802-356-2262  for a phone session.

As a community of Flowers, Angels, Nature Spirits, Dogs, Cats and even some People, Green Hope Farm can be a funny place……and I love telling you all about it!